I wonder why?

I do not understand why but I still am not able to calm down as I wish to. Well, there is a huge improvement from who I was in 2007, but I am still not there. There are sudden outbursts, and then there are times when I keep silent. I am just unable to strike that balance. There are reasons beyond explanation that make my mood go south.

I remember reading a while back:

Anything that makes you weak physically, intellectually and spiritually, reject as poison. There is no life in it…it can not be true…truth is strengthening. Truth is purity. Truth is all knowledge. Truth must be strengthening, must be enlightening, must be invigorating.