Bricks

I was standing on my porch and when I noticed some masons working on a house. I saw them picking up bricks and putting them together and in a little while there was a wall; a little while later there was a structure of what later may be a beautiful room in the house.

Thinking of life in the same way; we are born and a foundation is laid. Then it is our parents who try to provide the best foundation during our childhood. Then we grow up and find life throwing bricks at us every day. It is then us only who can pick those up and build a great building or leave them scattered.

Just like we put together bricks to build a house that provides us shelter in stormy weathers, we should use the bricks of life to build a house of experience to help us in difficult times.

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Self Reflection

Two different schools of thoughts:
“It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. All that matters is what you think of you. We lose so much energy worrying about the opinions of others, wanting to be liked. Leadership and personal mastery is about rising above social approval – to self approval.” 

“It is other people’s opinion and what they think of us is probably just a mirror for us. If people are the true mirrors, where is the harm in taking a peak every now and then, to see how flawless we have become, to see how good looking we have grown. Every morning we look for self-approval but we need a mirror to tell us that; and we do not ignore that. Similarly, should we disregard the other mirror of people for giving us this truth? There are times when it will give us an idea on how to correct our appearance so we can shine on (feedback) and there will be other times, when we know we are shining but we still need confirmation that we do indeed shine (recognitions).”
So long as you are living by your values, running your own race and living your dreams, who cares what anyone else thinks/says about you? It should always be about doing what’s right. 

I always look into the mirror and do what I find is right for me.

Right vs. Wrong

This is a recollection of a discussion I had almost 3 years back. I was sitting over coffee with some of my team mates and Sandhya brought up this topic of what is wrong? For some time I avoided the discussions (because of my un-conventional thinking). but soon it became un-resistible and I was deep in the discussion. I was thinking about this and here I am sharing my thoughts.

Some of the most dreadful sins as declared by society – “Murder”, “Adultery”, “Stealing”. Well this is what a society feels are sins and hence wrongs of the world. I see these a little differently. For me what I feel at heart if right is right. Society has its own way of seeing things and I can not change that, but that does not mean that I will change myself the way society wants us to be. Why do we always want to be what others want us to be.

Coming back to the Right vs Wrong – for me the person who does something “wrong” may not feel that it is wrong in any way. A thief, steals why? To earn some money and feed his children. Just saying that he is wrong is not the right thing. Do we spend any time in understanding why is that thief a thief? We take that person to trial and punish if the charge is proved in court of law. Do we even try to see what circumstances forced the person to steal. What we have done is put away a criminal for some time and made him a criminal for life. If we would try to listen his/her problems we may have rehabilitated him/her. No, but society says he is wrong when it may have been someone who forced a thief to steal is the wrong here.

Sandhya also brought up the biggest sin – Murder. I was on the same opinion if I feel what I am doing is right, then even Murder is right. I should not feel remorse about it. Sandhya said “How can someone play God?” I think she is right in a way, but let us explore what is being God and then we will come back to Sandhya’s point. Sometime back I saw the movie “Provoked”; based on a real-life story. The story was about a wife who is being physically and mentally harassed by her husband and one day she breaks down and burns her husband alive. She was taken to court of law and sentenced to lifetime imprisonment. What do we get here: Was the wife wrong as she burnt her husband alive or was the husband wrong who was harassing his wife?

I am split here on how the husband was behaving – What was shown in the movie. It showed all the bad things he would do to his wife, but I could not find a cause. I am tempted to believe that he was wrong as there was no reason for him to do this. As for wife she has all the right reasons to punish him and she did. Was she right? I would say yes – but then is this being playing God? Well yes, it is. But for the right reason for her. The authorities still feel that she was wrong and that’s the reason she was put behind bars.

Being right or wrong is not a function of how the society defines. The rules have been laid out there to keep a larger part of the society under control and it works very well. But, how a person behaves is based on various circumstances and not knowing all you can not hold someone for the wrong. The wrong for which you would hold someone may be your wrong and not their.

The perfectionist (via The Urban Monk diaries)

I just loved this post. Too long, but if you read slowly, it makes a lot of sense.

The perfectionist Everything changes Nothing lasts Nothing is finished Nothing is perfect How beautiful Now!    Ryan was up at the crack of dawn, as soon as his alarm went off. After getting dressed and ready, he stepped outside. The sun was just starting to poke its face out of the sky. He checked his watch. 5:00 am He was on time, as the lady had instructed, ready for the day’s lesson. I am always on time, he said to himself. Unlike Jack, he quickly added as a m … Read More

via The Urban Monk diaries

Small Steps

Small steps are big steps. Little decisions can, over time, cause stunningly wonderful results. Tiny changes lead to real and sustained transformation. It’s all about evolution rather than revolution.

No decision is unimportant. Every action leads to a reaction. Each move we make creates a consequence and ripples across our destiny. Getting up earlier when you feel like sleeping is the giant leap that begins a new habit called early rising. Coming up with a better way to think/feel/behave at work is the giant leap that creates a new inner pathway called excellence and mastery. Treating people with more respect/kindness and understanding is the giant leap that will soon install a routine called humanity. That little first step sends a clear signal to life that you want to change and have the courage to make the first move.

The first move is always the hardest. Everything’s easier after that. Step by step, changing and elevating your game gets easier. You become more confident. The new habits and internal pathways become more familiar. And you-almost invisibly-become greater. And more brilliant. And more of the person you were born to be. Told you it’s exciting.

Measure Success | Through your own measures

Being the best has different has just one meaning for everyone – “Do it like no one else can do it”. But, the difference in opinion comes where people see things differently. Can be two things basically:

1. What people think is the best
2. What you think is the best

The big question if who is going to measure the success? Does Someone needs to? Is it so? I do not think so. I believe in one thing – “If you can be honest to yourself, you do not need to prove to the world what is right or wrong”. Many people spend their entire lifetime making others believe in what they think that people find it right, when the right is what they know they have.

Important thing is to realize the truth and be calm about it; God will then one day through His own ways prove you correct. Believe me, He will do that; it is just a matter of time when that happens. Do not loose faith in Him. Consider him to be your friend and hHe, while you do not know He already is. He is already is watching over you and protecting you against many ill-things, you just do not realize.

Realization…. this is something we will talk about some time later. For now I need to doze off.

Good night.

Faith

These set of thoughts triggered from

  • A thread on Facebook between Preeti and I. Preeti wrote “I hope God listens to my prayers as well…”
  • A discussion with a fellow blogger

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust

I will start by providing an analogy of a relationship between a parent and a child. A game that I have played with Aabhya for first couple of years since her birth is where I used to throw her up in the air and catch her mid-air or when I asked her to stand/sit on a desk and ask her to jump where I would catch her. She used to laugh when I used to do that.

As she turned 2.5/3 years when I try doing that, she starts saying no; almost instantly and says “Papa mujhe darr lag raha hai (Dad, I am getting scared)”. I just can’t get her to play this game with me any more. She realizes that falling down will hurt her and an injury will bring pain with itself.

Any reasons why her behavior changed. When she was young, she didn’t understand certain things like pain, injury and that there is a risk in the game that she can fall. She was innocent and trusted me with everything. But, as she grew up and became knowledgeable, her mind tells her about the risk and adds fear to her heart and mind. She somehow still knows that I don’t want to hurt her but the Faith of letting herself go is gone. She now believes in me; where as she had Faith in me earlier. She has started to question my ways.

I relate this analogy  to a person and God. When a person is just a child, he has parents to shield them of problems and tough times. There are many, but parents will not allow most of them to pass on to the child. A child would think “All izz well” (from 3 Idiots), but there are matters he will not know are wrong. Then the person grows in an adult and life becomes more challenging – we got to get a good job, earn lots of money to support our family; find a girl-friend; then find a life partner and always try to keep things working. And, during this time; not everything happens as we expected and we start questioning ways of God. People forget the time when things went right for them – that is what life is – you win some; you loose some.

So what is Faith?

To me Faith is about “Believing is Seeing”. Kids do not have to see Santa to believe in him. But we adults would say – come one that is just a story. I feel there is some magic out there which is greater than everything something that no one can explain. No one ever sees God. Every religion talks about Avatars as incarnations of God to come and help God; but there has to be a higher power that runs this world. Why I say “Believing is Seeing” because this is the basic essence of Life. I say so because

Science is about inventions and now they all are facts. But, someone did invented it (electricity, telephone) did not have facts that this exists. They believed. They did not see it. For that one person who invested it – “Believing is Seeing”. Others who saw it it was fact.

And also, because of one instance that I gathered many years ago which can be found on another link on my blog – read this article where it is claimed that Albert Einstein challenged an atheist professor on “Existence of Evil“.

Every day of my life when I take up a task, I believe in myself that I can do it even before I have taken it up. I do not say this once I have done it. Look at prominent figures who have achieved a lot – they all say “I had belief in myself that I can do it”. They had not seen them achieve the heights of glory; they believed. They had Faith.

I will wrap this post with a continuation of the analogy earlier. I seek Faith from my daughter. Many a times I say No to her because it is not good for her and I will continue to do this for the rest of her life and mine. Similarly, my parents have been doing this to me all my life. There are so many “NO”s that we have to deal with. A parent seeks Faith from their child but does not understands that this is exactly what God seeks from us. God always answers your prayers – the answer sometimes is no.

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust”. Is this just coincidence or is there is a higher magic why the words have been put this way.