2012 Goals

Looking back the year 2011, it became crystal clear to me what was required to be done in 2012 and unlike me – this time around I came up with Goals I would like to achieve in 2012. After some thinking, I decided not to call them as Resolutions; but look at them as Goals. My Goals will be categorized into 4 categories. I will share some specific goals with you all while some private ones I am going to keep “private” (this didnt come out that well). But, for the private ones, I will share a higher level of description so that you do understand where I am going with them.

I have come up with 18 Goals for the entire year of 2012 – and all of these have to happen all around the year. I have categorized these under – Finance, Health, Quality of Life and Wisdom.

Read the details on my blot here – http://blog.kapilvirenahuja.com/2012/01/02/2012-goals/.

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Goodbye 2011

I recently read somewhere – “Nothing really ends when a year ends. But a lot can begin when a new year begins”. But, a beginning without an introspect would be simply be aimless. While this may be okay for some, for me 2012 has to be in perspective of what 2011 was – this is simply a way of trying to improve on things.

2011 for me can easily be categorized in 4 buckets:

  1. Agneepath
  2. Vanvaas (Exile)
  3. Dream
  4. Awakening

Read more here: http://blog.kapilvirenahuja.com/2012/01/02/goodbye-2011/

A 360 degree turn

Two months back when I came back to India, little I knew that my life would take a U-turn for good. Everything that has happened since July 26 is a welcome surprise. And, it all started with my leadership to decide to allocate me to a project. Next few weeks unfolded very differently

  • I was told that there is a possibility I would be sent on bench if no suitable project was found for me;
  • I was awarded IMPax award which meant I was recognized by the CTO of the organization for my work towards the Java Technology
  • I was told by “the director” who leads Architects in India that I am not skilled enough to be an Architect

On the other side, I was making super-duper progress on my personal front and within a few weeks of my arrival back to India I had achieved:

  • Learnt PHP and WordPress and moved my websites/blogs to self-managed hosted environment;
  • Gave share to my iFramework so that it can be shared with a community bigger than any organization (open source community)
    • I finally released my project to OSS community as a Maven Central Project
  • DZone selected me as one of their Most Valuable Blogger – which meant they would publish my articles on their JavaLobby
  • I started to work on the “Testing Framework” that was Work In Progress for last 3 years and finally I gave it shape that i can be released as a framework
    • Even purchased domain for it: EAMSteps.org
  • Wrote a Multi-threading framework

On personal side, some things started to change and in all this mix I realized one thing – I had lost my touch on technology during last thre years and all this happened because a laid-back attitude that I had developed. Now, that for 6 weeks I was so active which was hard to believe, it seemed appropriate to continue with the momentum and it was time to do things that matter.

Last 3 years made me realize that age is catching up with me and if I do not do something substantial soon, it will be too late. I would have another 2 (maybe 3) years to make a significant impact on my career.

Amongst all of the changes, it became evident that it was time to move on from my current organization and figure out whats next. And, here I am now just looking at another month maybe 5 weeks with my current organization and still figuring out whats the next best thing to do for me to make the very best use of next few years of my professional life.

India lost more than just being at the top

While the country was carried in the enthusiasm led by Anna Hazarre, half-way around the world, Team India lost 4 test matches against England to loose their #1 position. While England thrashed India in all departments across 4 match series and went ahead to take number 1 spot, India lost not just the matches, but also the series and their pride as as a cricket team.

Another decision

Today I have a meeting with my leadership team to understand and then decide what I am going to do next in my organization. The last year was all working on non-technology stuff for the most part. Last year, I was promised a technical role after I was done with my program management responsibilities, but that did not happen and I realized that I just can not keep myself away from technology at all. I need that as a fuel in my life to keep it exciting. Anything else just makes it too boring.

I am meeting with Harsha today to see what they (Harsha and Krishna) have thought about my role in the company. I know I want something in technology and I am going to ask for that. Time has come when I start seeing myself doing things I want to do and start saying “I want” instead of “I need”.

Wish me luck.

Coming home – part 2

If you are interested in reading how the first half of the trip went read this post here.

After waiting for more tan 5 hours at the Chicago Airport, I finally boarded the flight to New Delhi. The boarding was quick and timely; but as we waited in the Aircraft for 30 minutes, the Captain announced that there was structural damage in the Cargo and it was being inspecte. After a while, we were informed that the damage was not that bad and they will not use the cargo hold (which was damaged); but it is safe to fly. It was a relief that this flight would not be cancelled, but there was a nagging worry about the structural damage. However, I was not going to get off this plane; I wanted to get home. So, we waited and waited until Captain told us that they were too heavy to Fly (HAHAHAHA); and they were figuring out what to do. This was a new one but was an interesting one. So, finally after waiting for 2 hours, they had figured out everything and we were on the runway for the take-off.

On the flight I met Rob, he was sitting next to me. We started talking and as it was his first trip to India, he was curious about many a things and I shared anything I could about Delhi and India. However, after a while when we touched upon what he did for a career, we started to talk about a lot of things that I have been thinking lately – religion, faith, spirituality, healing. It just seemed so weird to me that I was thinking of all those things just yesterday and here I was discussing all of that with him. Nevertheless, I spent almost 2 hours discussing various things with him and I have to admit, it was the most fruitful session of my life. His thoughts, made me go look deep inside of me and understand how things have been playing around me (another post about all of that will come along soon). But, it was evident that “the universe” had bigger plans for me and maybe my flight getting cancelled was simply a way of making me meet him. The flight was a very pleasurable one – I had no stress at all. Chatting with Rob helped me be at peace even more from where I started a day before.

After some chats, music, House MD and some turbulence, we arrived at New Delhi just an hour late. And, as I exited the plane it felt like Home already. The feeling of at the New Delhi Airport was like a Lion who just reached his own territory. Going through Immigration was hassle free, but after a long wait at the baggage, I came to know that my two bags had arrived already and were in the Customs Hold Area. Then the Customs was a big pain in the ass and I eventually had to shell out $200 to get through it. It was worth it given all the stuff I had brought. It was only after 90 minutes that I met Papa, Preeti, Timmy Bhaiyya and Aabu outside. Aabhya looked so very different in person. Finally we left the Airport to reach home in not so much of traffic. Met Mom at home and after that I was just so relieved like a cork had been blown off the top and any remaining stress was gone. Dinner tasted so delicious and it was followed up with Mango – I think I was eating it after a year. But, after that it was playing time with Aabhya and showing wat I got for her and making her understand that she has to wait until tomorrow to open those up else she will miss her school.

Finally, around it was sleeping time and with Aabhya next to me and asking me to hold her hand. It was a realization that this is what heaven was for me, and I want this every single day in my life.

Karma

In last few months, I have adopted a belief and have strongly moved towards the existence of Karma. That means that I no longer believe in Fate, Luck or Destiny. Before I go about explaining how and why I arrived at this thought process, let me start off by explaining to you all what I understand of these words. If you want to learn more about it, I have provided links to all of these. My viewpoints mentioned in this post are just a summary of the concept and they closely follow what Brahmins follow in Hindu. I am not going to digress into Jainism, Buddhism or any other religions and debate what they each mean/infer of these divine words.

Karma can be summarized from a theist viewpoint as “God does not make one suffer for no reason nor does He make one happy for no reason. God is very fair and gives you exactly what you deserve.”

Luck is either a good or bad fortune in life caused by accident or chance, and attributed by some to reasons of faith or superstition, which happens beyond a person’s control.

Destiny refers to a predetermined course of events. It may be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual. It is a concept based on the belief that a fixed natural order to the cosmos. Destiny and Fate may be used interchangeably.

Now to tie things up – about a month ago, I wrote about Destiny and why it has me confused. As you read that post, you will find me conflicted, but I do make a point that it seems my existence is purposeless. I have to exist to fulfill a purpose just like any other object in the universe be it Sun or be it an Ant or a pebble. We all play our roles in the environment around us. So, if everything has to be pre-determined or Destined, that all of this is simply pointless. Why would God create such a world where everything is pre-decided. Do we create a game where we know what is going to happen. Will we enjoy it?

Decision 1: There is no such thing as Destiny.

Just like Destiny, Luck is something that happens for no reason. Now, we all know that it is a proven fact of life a scientific principle proven – “every action has a reaction”. Hence, there has to be an action for an event to happen. Things do not happen for no reason. Everything has a reason, just we don’t understand what that is. Read this post here; and you will see that I was able to find a few reason about why the chain of events took place. It also ties to our responsibilities and we are given a chance for God to fix things that we may have done wrong.

Decision 2: There is no such thing as Luck.

That leaves me with just one reason – Does Karma has a very big role to play in our lives? It is all based on what decisions we make. God provides is with options in every aspect of our life, He asks us to make choice and decide what we are going to do in every single moment. Sometimes, those decisions are just easy to make as they are trivial like eat what at a diner; buy a car. There are other times when these decisions are very difficult to make and are life-altering like this one. But, the choice is ours – we have our free will. Two people in same situation have the capability to think and choose what they are going to do. One of them may chose to pardon sins of another while the other may turn to terrorism or depression. But, the decision is theirs to make. It the sum-total of these decisions that lead to the events in our life.

Hinduism believes in after-life and reincarnation; while Christianity believes in one life. However, in both the religions and some others that I have read about (I am no expert in Atheism or religions and my knowledge is limited) do talk about the sins of your earlier life or your ancestors are carried over to you and you have to pay for it. I have never heard of a religion talk about a good deed to be carried over.That is one reason why I do not believe in a religion, but do believe in God. Religions talk about bad things and then they ask people to come to the Divine shelter of God i.e. the Holy Place. I feel it is self-marketing.. I have arrived at this theory for Karma. Now, I have not read it anywhere, so if someone comes across a text where there is written somewhere, please point it out and I will pass on the credit/links. However, I do want to announce that I did come up with his all by myself.

Rule: Your Karma decides what you get back in life.

God, maintains a balance scorecard for us. It all starts with a ZERO (0) at some point. As we live our life, we are provided with choices – some of those choices are right and other are wrong (how is another topic I will cover later; lets assume to be right an wrong for this conversation). We have to decide what we would do in such a scenario. Based on our decisions, we are awarded points or points are taken away from us. Now, when we go t God and pray for something, or want something in our life, God sees what is our Scorecard and gives is what we deserve. We either get what we asked for or we don’t or we get something in between; but all that is based on what our scorecard is at that time. Once we have been awarded, our scores neutralizes back – it is like earning “Game Points” and spending those in the game for powers to do bigger things.

So, you may be asking yourself, how do I explain the exceptional people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Sachin Tendulkar who were born with talent. My answer to that is that those people had their scores carries from a earlier life. They did some good things and they were rewarded with a head-start. Now, we have people like them with exceptional leadership skills, and then we also have people like Osama bin Ladin who also had exception leadership skills. What they chose to do with those leadership skills was their decisions. A few decided to do good to the world, while other decided otherwise. They will have been rewarded as per their actions.

Now, Karma becomes more complicated when you put people together. Have you ever heard a husband say “My wife is lucky for me” (I have ben saying that for 5 years now) or a father say “My daughter/son is lucky for me”. Remember, we have established that there is Luck. So what is this? It is two people’s Karma’s coming together. We do not decide our Spouse based on their good fortunes, but we try to choose based on what we know of them – what good they have done (or what bad they are capable of if we are negative people to begin with). But, we essentially try to match up. Based on our decisions, we get chances to do more good together and it is our way to build up that balance scorecard. Who we are blessed with (our kids) is a direct result of what do and what scorecard we have. And, it is our chance to make a difference with that kid. God entrusts that child to us and what we make out of him/her is our Karma. How good are parents is a head-start that a kid gets based on their earlier balance scorecard that is a carry forwarded.

 

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