Journey to “One Destination”

Life is a journey and there is one destination that everyone reaches. But, this journey is divided into various destinations and to reach each destination, we have to complete the journey. Along the way we re presented with many difficulties, which will make us change our course, or even make us quit.

The focus should be on the journey and not on the difficulties. Focusing on goals acts as a motivator to solve the difficulties with a new zeal. If we lose the focus on the goal, then very soon we would be asking ourselves “Why are we doing this?” and soon we will quit.

So remember, once you have your eyes set on goals, do not lose that eye-contact. On your way, be worried, be stressed, try as hard as you can, but never loose focus.

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Relationships

Let us first have a look at what a relation is? In dictionary it has been defined as “The way in which two concepts, objects or people are connected.” With this if we look at relationship it becomes a state of being connected. Now again the dictionary gives the example as:

  • the state of being connected by blood or marriage
  • the way in which two people behave towards each other
  • an emotional and sexual association between two people

When I read the definitions given above I start to think that dictionary is just a way to teach words and not meaning of those words. Would a relationship mean the way it has been defined above. Though, I see the sentences saying all (by way of emotional association), I believe that relationship have a deeper meaning of words. I will quote some of the great thinkers and then we will see the difference:

  • Health is the greatest gift, contentment is the wealth, faithfulness the best relationship
  • Relationships are like crystals, you do not realize how much you love it until it breaks
  • Death ends a life, not a relationship

Reading the last two, I think what was missing in the definitions that were put forward in the earlier post? I think emotions and the human touch to it. I believe that every time you meet someone you make a new relationship, but what it means to you it for you to decide. You can take a hello to a marriage or companionship and you can take a friendship to hatred. The reasons can be different, but what is important that we need to know how to honor each of our relationships. That can be enmity or love, but doing justice to that is an art not everyone has. People have various tendencies towards approaching every situation, but what it comes down to is the fact how one wants to live their life!!

People around many a times ask questions on why two people (a boy and a girl) are roaming around frequently. My answer is; that is what people do. This bring me to thinking, why can not people see a relationship just like any other thing… why does it always have to boil down to this between opposite sex. Why? I dont think anyone on this earth would have an answer and I will not try to answer this one; actually I am not in a position to answer this as I do not think that a relationship to be like this. But this leaves me surprised nevertheless.

I will take some examples of very divine relationships (or that is what people call them) – “Mother and a Child”, “Brother and a Sister”, “Husband and a Wife” and “Friends”. I will not spend time talking about the first 3, because those are the easy ones. Let us talk about “Friends” – does it mean a “Boy and a Boy” and/or “Girl and a Girl” or can it also mean “Boy and a Girl”. Well it seems the society around is still caught in the moment where they do not think that the last one even exists. Believe me friendship is the most emotional relationship that you can be in. All others relations that you have you have known each other for a very long time or you stay with the person. So, how difficult is it to keep the relationship sour? My wife says to me “How long can I remain upset with you; we share the same bedroom.” and she is damn right.

But, when it comes to “friends”, this is where a person’s ability to carry on and honor the relationship is tested. You will not meet friends for long time, and talk to them sometimes, but you will be able to talk to them just as you never were apart the next time you meet. Is it that not a sign of a more strong bond than anything? Why can two people of opposite sex not have this between them? Is it written somewhere? or is there something that I am missing.

Seems that I will continue to live in a world of my own and continue to find people, who believe in the same thing as I do. Or will I have to change myself one fine day.

Life is about Choices and Balance

He was lying in his bed and thinking what went wrong over the years. He had a good job that provided for his family; he had a a loving family and they all met often, had enjoyed their time together. Somehow, over the years fate had taken a u-turn and for the first time he was facing problems providing so well for his family. Only today He had to ask his wife not to bring any more desserts after dinner and he saw tears coming through her eyes. A sudden realization filled his eyes with tears and his heart with remorse.

He lived in a small town with his family and he was living a very fulfilling life. His job was at the Cricket stadium where he officiated as the umpire in matches between his and a neighboring town. All was well until the day his son decided to join the rival team. Over a period of time, he started to cheat to help his son; not giving those LBW decisions. And, because there was no technology available then he was able to get away with it. What he did not realize that, this was not going to help anyone in the long run. What really happened slowly was that the other team started to loose the edge that they had and the matches started to become more one sided. Talented plays did not want to join the loosing team and the team grew weak every season. And because the matches were so one sided, people did not want to come and watch these games. The towns started to loose their revenues, the number of matches reduced and eventually his own income was also reduced. It also started to hurt his son because now he was not playing any quality bowlers and his game started to become weak and he lost his deft touch.

But the damage was now done, but he was determined to fix it. However, to bring the balance back to both towns it took him many years. He had to be careful not to be biased towards either of the town.

I see my life through the eyes of the umpire. The two teams being – my personal life and my careers. I have got to be careful that I do not cheat for either of the side and risk the mistake of ruining both. I just pray I have not messed it up already.

Need a break

I am wrapping up the day and i am not feeling good at all. I have my bad days and good days. Yet once more the stint for the bad/stressful days have over-lasted itself and is taking its toll on me. I just want to take a break from everything around me.

About the day today, nothing very good happened, and I do not have any that makes me cheerful towards the end of the day. I will be sleeping soon, but what is going in my head – I do not know. I am tired of my life it seems and i need a break; when will i get it i do not know.

The smaller things of life

“How many people, make you feel special?” “How many people, make you feel extraordinary” – a few; maybe you will be able to count them on your fingers. Yet, most of us do not realize that they do so. Even when we do realize that; we are so busy with other chores in our life that we choose to ignore them.

God – has His own ways of teaching you lessons of life and some are not that easy. Some times those lessons are very easy going and you enjoy while, but at other times they bring in a lot of pain. It is like how one is educated. Play school, Pre-primary are all so much fun. We learn so much and yet enjoy. But, when we reach high-school the lessons get tougher and mistakes cost heavily. It is important who we are and how we choose to define ourselves.

 

Path to doors of destiny
Path to doors of destiny

Our lives are filled with crossroads and once we decide which path to take those path lead us to certain doors that help us define who we are.

Nursery School Admissions 2011 – I survived a nightmare

Well, a few years back I did not think about this at all; never cared about it. When people used to tell me this is a big deal I never cared to ask why. But, last year when I started to do the research I started to understand that this is something that is going to be difficult than my school examinations. However, what this was going to be like I had no clue.

January 1, 2011 is when the ordeal started for Preeti (my wife) and me. The first two weeks it was all about understanding the different criterion that the school had set. My gosh!! every school had a different criteria. If there were two schools next to each other, in one school the points we were getting were around 60 and the other we had just 10 points. Well to brief it all, some of the common guidelines were:

  • Points for Neighborhood: The closer you are to the school, the higher points you score
  • Points for Sibling: If you had an elder sibling in the school you were preferred and you would get a higher score
  • Points for Alumni: If your parents passed out from that school you get higher points
  • Points for Girl Child: Boys were foresaken for some reason that is beyond my understanding
  • Points for Single parent: Somehow it felt that being happily married was a curse

By Jan 3rd, we had realized that our house was in a location which did not any good schools close by. One of the best locations to live in Delhi suddenly became the worst for us. Nevertheless, we went ahead and selected 15 schools and applied for admission for our beloved daughter. While she enjoyed her time, Preeti and I were going through a nightmare.

Jan 15th came and last date of filling forms was done. Now it was time for schools to pour out the results. Some of the best schools announced that all parents who did not have an elder child already in the school or were not an alumni should not even bother looking at the result. Well, those schools were not that good in the past. And, even if they were, should we hold our parents responsible for not putting us in those schools – our hearts were feeling the pain and my parents were sharing the same with us.

On Feb 1st all the schools were to display the results; this was the D-day. Jan 31st, I was unable to sleep the whole night. I remember I was not this worried during my class 10/12 exams and even graduation. Finally on Feb 1st, my daughter was lucky enough to have her name listed in one of the schools with a confirmed seat and in another school under wait list. I had to sit down on the bed when I answered my mobile from the school as they told me that my daughter has been selected and I have to come and deposit the fee.

Now, I read that many parents are left hanging with no schools for their kids. They have no options to wait for the 2nd, 3rd list or find ways to pay some money to the schools. When I think of them, I have a guilty feeling that some kids wont be able to school while my daughter will go. even when this is how it is supposed to be and I had no hand in any of the process all along; but being a spectator.

I do not understand what the government if going to do about this, but this is so wrong. On one side, we talk about providing education to everyone, while on the other hand the process is such that many are left hanging with no where to go. Not right; just not right.

A new end, a new beginning

I could have never guessed that I would be up at 5.30am on the New Year day; but then I could have never guessed that I would be living in Minnesota for 5 months. Last year has been an year or many things that I never thought could happen to me. But, when I start thinking about the last 10 years of my life, I feel so glad that there are things in there that I had thought of – a good job, loving wife and an adorable daughter are the three things that top my list.

But, last decade was about learning and growth. I moved from early 20s to 30s and it changed my life in many ways. Last few years, I saw myself leaning towards Spirituality and in many ways moving towards to the betterment of my life and my family.

I started the decade hungry of success, and I am starting a new decade still hungry, but of a different kind of success. For starters, I want to follow one of my so many passions that I picked up in years and let them die. I have not decided which one, but it feels like photography is going to be it. So, you can be rest assured that you are going to see quite a few clicks from me in times to come. A lot of those are going to be of my daughter and I try to spend as much time as I possibly can with her.

Living outside of India and my home has never been a thought but it happened in the very end, and I may have to do so again in the beginning too, but something I am not looking forward too very much. However, this decade the goals achieving some higher things in life. Professionally, I consider myself blessed in this last decade. I started off in the year of the dot.com burst, however still I am holding a senior position with a big organization and I think I have earned respect amongst many of my colleagues (if not all). In this new beginning I would like to achieve some more.

Personally, last decade saw me at crossroads many times. Not many would know that, but I went from someone who cant shut up to someone, who does not speaks. I am still uncertain as to if this is for good or not, but introspection tells me something needs a change here – as my mother tells me so affectionately – “you should be more social”. I know she is right but then I am me. I am a different person when I am around my daughter or my friends and I like that person. Maybe, they are not judging me all the time and if they are sometimes I do not care because it is so much fun that way. I believe that for me to be that person all around, I have to do some talking. Something I have done successfully in my professional like in the last decade, and I think I need to so likewise here too.

Friends – wow!! A whole new meaning for me in this decade. Because, in the last decade, I completed a decade long of friendship with a few of my friends and made some new ones. My friends from 90s taught me what friendship really means – it is not about talking a lot, but talking when it makes sense. It is not about having to talk to someone all the time to be friends, but still to be friends when you find it most difficult to be. And, some new ones – when I never thought I would be able to make some new friends in such a hectic life, I actually did. I somehow have started to believe that the word “Best Friends” does not exist. Either we do have friends or we dont. I do not like to name people, but I would do so this time around – Rajat, Deepika, Shallja, Samita, Pankaj sir, Sitija, Babul. And yeah Anurag (even though he is my brother in law) I find myself at ease around him just like I do with friends. When my mother-in-law tells me that she was so afraid given both our nature, we would even tag along, it is surprising that we do go along very well. There are of course some differences and I am the “Jijaji” :), I find myself being very comfortable around him.

Family – I left this one for the last, because this one is never going to end. I started a new decade with just my side of the family and mid-way, I was blessed to have Preeti’s side of the family too. And, it has been wonderful along the way. Preeti herself has been in all ways the “better half” and complimented me in many ways. And when she presented me with Aabhya she just gave me the world. I can not thank her enough for all she has done. Mom and Dad – they have been ever so patient with me all along. They saw me sunk with dot.com, they saw me grow in Sapient and UHG and they saw me change over time and move away from their child to be a father of their grand-daughter and yet they were so patient with me and my attitude (I wish I never had that). Only if I would be half as patient as they have been, I would be a different person. Thank you mom and dad. Aparna – my baby sister and I still call her that even though she is now married and is practicing her medicine in a big hospital. She has been like a daughter to me, but somehow I dont think I ever said those words to her. I think she knows :). Our fights turned out to be some deep talks over the years and then to a silence of respect and love of each other. I cant thank her enough for being their for me and listening however little I talked about. This chapter can go long if I start writing about everyone, so I am going to take a rain-check for now and come back later.

Thank you God, for being there for me all the time and guiding me for the very best. I could not have done any of this without You.