Journey to “One Destination”

Life is a journey and there is one destination that everyone reaches. But, this journey is divided into various destinations and to reach each destination, we have to complete the journey. Along the way we re presented with many difficulties, which will make us change our course, or even make us quit.

The focus should be on the journey and not on the difficulties. Focusing on goals acts as a motivator to solve the difficulties with a new zeal. If we lose the focus on the goal, then very soon we would be asking ourselves “Why are we doing this?” and soon we will quit.

So remember, once you have your eyes set on goals, do not lose that eye-contact. On your way, be worried, be stressed, try as hard as you can, but never loose focus.

Leaders or just Managers?

Recalling an incident from 2007, it reminds me of the ideology of being “emotional for your work and company”. The phrase comes to mind – “Married to the company”.

In the past I have tried to be very emotional around my work, but a couple of discussions back in 2008 with a Senior Project Manager and a Director made me realize a few things. And now when I contemplate those things back and see similar things happening elsewhere too.

My assessment back then was that being emotional towards work and company (someone else) will only hurt me in the end. In the past I had worked almost twice the tenure with my company. For the 4 years I spent, my time spent working clocked to almost 8 years. No doubts that I was learning a lot, but the mistakes I did was that I was emotional about my work. I used to put that in front of everything else in my life. The rewards were good too – money, position etc. Until the day my project started to do South. A meeting that I had with a Senior Project Manager (Manish) around my future role on the project made me realize that he was going to sacrifice a human interest for the betterment of the project. He is a very successful manager in the organization and is very talented too.

A year later in 2008, another meeting made me realize that the company will choose to pay new hires more than what I am getting because I enjoy the Goodwill in the organization. I was not fully sure how to respond back then. But, I realize now that this is how every company operates. What I fail to understand is how that works out. A company/manager chooses to pay less to an existing employee who has done well for them and has generated results in the past; someone who knows the domain and the company. How can a manager/company let go of that person and go about finding a replacement only to give that new person a higher compensation and in the process spend a lot more on training and opportunity.

Maybe, this is a trait of a successful manager, I do not believe that this is a trait for a good leader. I have not done any MBA, but all these people who are running companies around me are MBAs from IIMs and other premier institutes. I do not understand the rationale behind it.

Relationship between Expectations and Relationships

This is going to a controversial topic and I myself is not too sure in my head where this ends up. But something happened today that made me think about this. The bottom line question is:

What happens to a Relationship if you stop Expecting?

Does the relationship ends? When I think of a relationship between a parent and a child; a parent will definitely have some expectations from their children. But, if the child does not fulfill those expectations, the relation still continues to remain. The affection does not die.

In other scenario, when we are with friends or colleagues and we have certain expectations that do not come true; we tend to move away from that relationship and eventually it either dies or converts to a casual “hello”; which eventually ends. I believe the very first signs of the death appear when one stop talking or gets angry.

 

So, what happens in the first case? Is the love or the bond so strong that it can never end no matter what. Or the bond has grown so strong that it takes a blunder to destroy it?

The Night

The great thing about night is that everything around is dark. You can hardly see your hand let alone who is walking right next to you. Try this with a cloudy sky and you will know what I mean. It reminds us how lucky we are to have light.

One of these night, I managed to scare myself, and I had to use my instincts more than ever. If you know me and my driving, you may have figured out by now what I mean – when I say I use my instincts – Gunning down the NH8 at 180 KMPH in my Verna beats all kinds of thrills.

Will do it ever again – maybe not. It was just one of these days. I guess I did a little too much to scare myself.
P.S.: No telling my dad or preeti.

Being Proud

I had an interesting conversation over a Facebook status; and I do not want to loose it in FaceBook status’; so here is an extract of it:

 

Relax, sit back, listen to your favorite music, feel proud of all the good you have done for this society, have respect for everyone around you, gift a chocolate to a homeless kid outside a temple, give a loaf of bread to a stray dog, lie down on grass and look at the sky and listen to chirping birds.. Believe me you will be happy from your soul, Life is simply too awesome.. Live it UP!!! 😉

 

Ashish Mukherjee I follow many things among these, i almost feed a stray dog everyday, i look up to the sky to relax, i listen to music, etc., but still struggling to find find out something to be proud of which I’ve done good for this society….. it’s a tough job I guess for me….. 😦

 

Kapil Viren Ahuja ‎@Ashish – I dont know you so wont judge; but I can say that all that you do is to be proud off. Because we run for big things; we miss out on smaller ones. Think – if we all would feed 1 time meal to someone say a couple of times a week; how many wont go without food.

 

Ashish Mukherjee

‎@KVA: Hi, mostly i read your posts on Shanu’s posts quiet on a lighter side, but it was great reading an appreciation for what i do, but those aren’t anything which anyone does to feel proud of or keeping in mind that we are doing anything… good, people just do these things when they are missing something probably (not sure), same the case with me, apart from it, when talking about the society, i am feeding the stray dogs, which aren’t giving any such great impact on the society, then….. so in my case, again, still need to struggle lil more to find out that factor, but in any case, thanks a lot, it was good that even these things can be appreciated…. 🙂
Kapil Viren Ahuja IMHO – the reason i feel we should be proud of it is because – there are 99.99% people out there who dont do anything. I am not going to debate the reasons or why.
Ashish Mukherjee ‎@KVA: Kya Kapil Mama, you just ended the topic, it was just great having few words with you… Thanks. 🙂

What I understand is that yeah feeding Stray-dogs is not enough; but what I do like is the fact that Ashish does something; this behavior one day will lead him to do bigger things; it reminds me of Small Steps.

Relationships

Let us first have a look at what a relation is? In dictionary it has been defined as “The way in which two concepts, objects or people are connected.” With this if we look at relationship it becomes a state of being connected. Now again the dictionary gives the example as:

  • the state of being connected by blood or marriage
  • the way in which two people behave towards each other
  • an emotional and sexual association between two people

When I read the definitions given above I start to think that dictionary is just a way to teach words and not meaning of those words. Would a relationship mean the way it has been defined above. Though, I see the sentences saying all (by way of emotional association), I believe that relationship have a deeper meaning of words. I will quote some of the great thinkers and then we will see the difference:

  • Health is the greatest gift, contentment is the wealth, faithfulness the best relationship
  • Relationships are like crystals, you do not realize how much you love it until it breaks
  • Death ends a life, not a relationship

Reading the last two, I think what was missing in the definitions that were put forward in the earlier post? I think emotions and the human touch to it. I believe that every time you meet someone you make a new relationship, but what it means to you it for you to decide. You can take a hello to a marriage or companionship and you can take a friendship to hatred. The reasons can be different, but what is important that we need to know how to honor each of our relationships. That can be enmity or love, but doing justice to that is an art not everyone has. People have various tendencies towards approaching every situation, but what it comes down to is the fact how one wants to live their life!!

People around many a times ask questions on why two people (a boy and a girl) are roaming around frequently. My answer is; that is what people do. This bring me to thinking, why can not people see a relationship just like any other thing… why does it always have to boil down to this between opposite sex. Why? I dont think anyone on this earth would have an answer and I will not try to answer this one; actually I am not in a position to answer this as I do not think that a relationship to be like this. But this leaves me surprised nevertheless.

I will take some examples of very divine relationships (or that is what people call them) – “Mother and a Child”, “Brother and a Sister”, “Husband and a Wife” and “Friends”. I will not spend time talking about the first 3, because those are the easy ones. Let us talk about “Friends” – does it mean a “Boy and a Boy” and/or “Girl and a Girl” or can it also mean “Boy and a Girl”. Well it seems the society around is still caught in the moment where they do not think that the last one even exists. Believe me friendship is the most emotional relationship that you can be in. All others relations that you have you have known each other for a very long time or you stay with the person. So, how difficult is it to keep the relationship sour? My wife says to me “How long can I remain upset with you; we share the same bedroom.” and she is damn right.

But, when it comes to “friends”, this is where a person’s ability to carry on and honor the relationship is tested. You will not meet friends for long time, and talk to them sometimes, but you will be able to talk to them just as you never were apart the next time you meet. Is it that not a sign of a more strong bond than anything? Why can two people of opposite sex not have this between them? Is it written somewhere? or is there something that I am missing.

Seems that I will continue to live in a world of my own and continue to find people, who believe in the same thing as I do. Or will I have to change myself one fine day.

Need a break

I am wrapping up the day and i am not feeling good at all. I have my bad days and good days. Yet once more the stint for the bad/stressful days have over-lasted itself and is taking its toll on me. I just want to take a break from everything around me.

About the day today, nothing very good happened, and I do not have any that makes me cheerful towards the end of the day. I will be sleeping soon, but what is going in my head – I do not know. I am tired of my life it seems and i need a break; when will i get it i do not know.