Faith

These set of thoughts triggered from

  • A thread on Facebook between Preeti and I. Preeti wrote “I hope God listens to my prayers as well…”
  • A discussion with a fellow blogger

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust

I will start by providing an analogy of a relationship between a parent and a child. A game that I have played with Aabhya for first couple of years since her birth is where I used to throw her up in the air and catch her mid-air or when I asked her to stand/sit on a desk and ask her to jump where I would catch her. She used to laugh when I used to do that.

As she turned 2.5/3 years when I try doing that, she starts saying no; almost instantly and says “Papa mujhe darr lag raha hai (Dad, I am getting scared)”. I just can’t get her to play this game with me any more. She realizes that falling down will hurt her and an injury will bring pain with itself.

Any reasons why her behavior changed. When she was young, she didn’t understand certain things like pain, injury and that there is a risk in the game that she can fall. She was innocent and trusted me with everything. But, as she grew up and became knowledgeable, her mind tells her about the risk and adds fear to her heart and mind. She somehow still knows that I don’t want to hurt her but the Faith of letting herself go is gone. She now believes in me; where as she had Faith in me earlier. She has started to question my ways.

I relate this analogy  to a person and God. When a person is just a child, he has parents to shield them of problems and tough times. There are many, but parents will not allow most of them to pass on to the child. A child would think “All izz well” (from 3 Idiots), but there are matters he will not know are wrong. Then the person grows in an adult and life becomes more challenging – we got to get a good job, earn lots of money to support our family; find a girl-friend; then find a life partner and always try to keep things working. And, during this time; not everything happens as we expected and we start questioning ways of God. People forget the time when things went right for them – that is what life is – you win some; you loose some.

So what is Faith?

To me Faith is about “Believing is Seeing”. Kids do not have to see Santa to believe in him. But we adults would say – come one that is just a story. I feel there is some magic out there which is greater than everything something that no one can explain. No one ever sees God. Every religion talks about Avatars as incarnations of God to come and help God; but there has to be a higher power that runs this world. Why I say “Believing is Seeing” because this is the basic essence of Life. I say so because

Science is about inventions and now they all are facts. But, someone did invented it (electricity, telephone) did not have facts that this exists. They believed. They did not see it. For that one person who invested it – “Believing is Seeing”. Others who saw it it was fact.

And also, because of one instance that I gathered many years ago which can be found on another link on my blog – read this article where it is claimed that Albert Einstein challenged an atheist professor on “Existence of Evil“.

Every day of my life when I take up a task, I believe in myself that I can do it even before I have taken it up. I do not say this once I have done it. Look at prominent figures who have achieved a lot – they all say “I had belief in myself that I can do it”. They had not seen them achieve the heights of glory; they believed. They had Faith.

I will wrap this post with a continuation of the analogy earlier. I seek Faith from my daughter. Many a times I say No to her because it is not good for her and I will continue to do this for the rest of her life and mine. Similarly, my parents have been doing this to me all my life. There are so many “NO”s that we have to deal with. A parent seeks Faith from their child but does not understands that this is exactly what God seeks from us. God always answers your prayers – the answer sometimes is no.

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust”. Is this just coincidence or is there is a higher magic why the words have been put this way.

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Life is about Choices and Balance

He was lying in his bed and thinking what went wrong over the years. He had a good job that provided for his family; he had a a loving family and they all met often, had enjoyed their time together. Somehow, over the years fate had taken a u-turn and for the first time he was facing problems providing so well for his family. Only today He had to ask his wife not to bring any more desserts after dinner and he saw tears coming through her eyes. A sudden realization filled his eyes with tears and his heart with remorse.

He lived in a small town with his family and he was living a very fulfilling life. His job was at the Cricket stadium where he officiated as the umpire in matches between his and a neighboring town. All was well until the day his son decided to join the rival team. Over a period of time, he started to cheat to help his son; not giving those LBW decisions. And, because there was no technology available then he was able to get away with it. What he did not realize that, this was not going to help anyone in the long run. What really happened slowly was that the other team started to loose the edge that they had and the matches started to become more one sided. Talented plays did not want to join the loosing team and the team grew weak every season. And because the matches were so one sided, people did not want to come and watch these games. The towns started to loose their revenues, the number of matches reduced and eventually his own income was also reduced. It also started to hurt his son because now he was not playing any quality bowlers and his game started to become weak and he lost his deft touch.

But the damage was now done, but he was determined to fix it. However, to bring the balance back to both towns it took him many years. He had to be careful not to be biased towards either of the town.

I see my life through the eyes of the umpire. The two teams being – my personal life and my careers. I have got to be careful that I do not cheat for either of the side and risk the mistake of ruining both. I just pray I have not messed it up already.

A new end, a new beginning

I could have never guessed that I would be up at 5.30am on the New Year day; but then I could have never guessed that I would be living in Minnesota for 5 months. Last year has been an year or many things that I never thought could happen to me. But, when I start thinking about the last 10 years of my life, I feel so glad that there are things in there that I had thought of – a good job, loving wife and an adorable daughter are the three things that top my list.

But, last decade was about learning and growth. I moved from early 20s to 30s and it changed my life in many ways. Last few years, I saw myself leaning towards Spirituality and in many ways moving towards to the betterment of my life and my family.

I started the decade hungry of success, and I am starting a new decade still hungry, but of a different kind of success. For starters, I want to follow one of my so many passions that I picked up in years and let them die. I have not decided which one, but it feels like photography is going to be it. So, you can be rest assured that you are going to see quite a few clicks from me in times to come. A lot of those are going to be of my daughter and I try to spend as much time as I possibly can with her.

Living outside of India and my home has never been a thought but it happened in the very end, and I may have to do so again in the beginning too, but something I am not looking forward too very much. However, this decade the goals achieving some higher things in life. Professionally, I consider myself blessed in this last decade. I started off in the year of the dot.com burst, however still I am holding a senior position with a big organization and I think I have earned respect amongst many of my colleagues (if not all). In this new beginning I would like to achieve some more.

Personally, last decade saw me at crossroads many times. Not many would know that, but I went from someone who cant shut up to someone, who does not speaks. I am still uncertain as to if this is for good or not, but introspection tells me something needs a change here – as my mother tells me so affectionately – “you should be more social”. I know she is right but then I am me. I am a different person when I am around my daughter or my friends and I like that person. Maybe, they are not judging me all the time and if they are sometimes I do not care because it is so much fun that way. I believe that for me to be that person all around, I have to do some talking. Something I have done successfully in my professional like in the last decade, and I think I need to so likewise here too.

Friends – wow!! A whole new meaning for me in this decade. Because, in the last decade, I completed a decade long of friendship with a few of my friends and made some new ones. My friends from 90s taught me what friendship really means – it is not about talking a lot, but talking when it makes sense. It is not about having to talk to someone all the time to be friends, but still to be friends when you find it most difficult to be. And, some new ones – when I never thought I would be able to make some new friends in such a hectic life, I actually did. I somehow have started to believe that the word “Best Friends” does not exist. Either we do have friends or we dont. I do not like to name people, but I would do so this time around – Rajat, Deepika, Shallja, Samita, Pankaj sir, Sitija, Babul. And yeah Anurag (even though he is my brother in law) I find myself at ease around him just like I do with friends. When my mother-in-law tells me that she was so afraid given both our nature, we would even tag along, it is surprising that we do go along very well. There are of course some differences and I am the “Jijaji” :), I find myself being very comfortable around him.

Family – I left this one for the last, because this one is never going to end. I started a new decade with just my side of the family and mid-way, I was blessed to have Preeti’s side of the family too. And, it has been wonderful along the way. Preeti herself has been in all ways the “better half” and complimented me in many ways. And when she presented me with Aabhya she just gave me the world. I can not thank her enough for all she has done. Mom and Dad – they have been ever so patient with me all along. They saw me sunk with dot.com, they saw me grow in Sapient and UHG and they saw me change over time and move away from their child to be a father of their grand-daughter and yet they were so patient with me and my attitude (I wish I never had that). Only if I would be half as patient as they have been, I would be a different person. Thank you mom and dad. Aparna – my baby sister and I still call her that even though she is now married and is practicing her medicine in a big hospital. She has been like a daughter to me, but somehow I dont think I ever said those words to her. I think she knows :). Our fights turned out to be some deep talks over the years and then to a silence of respect and love of each other. I cant thank her enough for being their for me and listening however little I talked about. This chapter can go long if I start writing about everyone, so I am going to take a rain-check for now and come back later.

Thank you God, for being there for me all the time and guiding me for the very best. I could not have done any of this without You.

Your views in my World

Almost everytime, we see something about someone like a picture they have posted or a status they have written on Facebook, we tend to make assumptions around it and share our comments on how it is.

If this was for a friend or a family member who we know well, we can understand the feelings behind it, but in most cases we do not and yet we ensure that we share our thinking with the person.

On the contrary, I am inclined to think if we do post such things and allow others to enter our world or we post for others to view it and keep shut.

What would be more agonizing – Reading comments that do not resemble your world or finding no one is commenting and not knowing if others are interested in what you write. – I will let you all take your pick

What is right

Two different schools of thoughts
“It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. All that matters is what you think of you. We lose so much energy worrying about the opinions of others, wanting to be liked. Leadership and personal mastery is about rising above social approval – to self approval.”

“It is other people’s opinion and what they think of us is probably just a mirror for us. If people are the true mirrors, where is the harm in taking a peak every now and then, to see how flawless we have become, to see how good looking we have grown. Every morning we look for self-approval but we need a mirror to tell us that; and we do not ignore that. Similarly, should we disregard the other mirror of people for giving us this truth? There are times when it will give us an idea on how to correct our appearance so we can shine on (feedback) and there will be other times, when we know we are shining but we still need confirmation that we do indeed shine (recognitions).”

So long as you are living by your values, running your own race and living your dreams, who cares what anyone else thinks/says about you? It should always be about doing what’s right. I always look into the mirror and do what I find is right for me.