Recognitions

We Are Marshall
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Morale is the enthusiasm of a person at a particular time. I relate this to the workplace and I know this is the only thing that gets someone going. Last Thursday, there was a full team meeting at my workplace and somethings happened that make me think how do we make everyone on the team happy? 

One of the leaders of the team went beyond to recognize a team member of a track of just 2 people. I felt good about it, as she was on my team and was getting recognized for all the good work. I could clearly see my efforts being paid off. But, what I failed to look into that the other team member was getting ignored. She has done all that is needed to do to make the project a success. For me she has been a very key member of the team and without her on the team, I would not have delivered the great work. In my mind this was clear, but she was looking for some appreciation from other folks as well. When I put myself in her shoes, I find how right is she? When I was at her place a couple of years back that is exactly how I was structuring my thoughts.

Very interestingly, I start to think about my whole team and see how can I make them a success in their own worlds. Success to everyone would mean differently. For this member it is a simple recognition by a leader, an acknowledgment by someone other than just me. For others it can be monitory and for someone else it can be something else. Just to be able to understand every one’s dreams and give them the right recognition when they do a good job is a difficult task.

Morale, now becomes a vital factor in their growth. How they think/feel/perform is directly proportionate to how I would handle their expectations. I think it all boils down to keep them self-motivated. To give them new challenges that they can take to the next level. The fact that I need to keep my every team member motivated, is a motivation for me.

Also comes to mind some of my favorite movies from – “Remember the Titans”, “Miracle”, “We are Marshall” come to mind and how the teams who had struggled to deliver anything became the best. It was not just about the coach who led these team; but it was more about the players in the team and how they brought it all together.

My Life ~ How I drive

I have been driving now for over 15 years and I have been known to drive at break-neck speeds. Also, my driving style has been quoted by many as “rash”. But, since I bought my new Car in 2009, I have changed my driving style completely. Also, being in US, I have been more patient on roads and drive under the given speed limits; very careful over bumps and bad roads. I was timing myself and noticed that it now takes me 50 minutes to reach office where it used to take me 30 minutes earlier. While I loose time driving, I have started to enjoy my driving. I use this time to do lot of thinking. Many of my blog entries are conceived as I am driving down to office. 

Retrospecting on my life today, I realized that my driving is a reflection of my life. I was in the fast lane always, wanted to do everything the same day, wanted to to everything – simply rushing past my life. But, for last few months, I have changed quite a bit. I do not push as hard as I used to earlier, I do not rush into things as I used to earlier, most importantly I am thinking a lot more than I used to. And, I realize how important all this was.

Assuming that this co-relation is a true, two things that I would like to relate to my life:
1. Car fuel efficiency increases by 25% with this new driving style. I have noticed that because I have started to take things at a slower pace, I have been able to retain small tasks lot more that I have been in the past. I do not completely forget the lesser things in life and;
2. I still at times compete with others on the road and it is then when I go back to being the original Kapil thus proving myself that I have not lost my ability

 

Right vs. Wrong

This is a recollection of a discussion I had almost 3 years back. I was sitting over coffee with some of my team mates and Sandhya brought up this topic of what is wrong? For some time I avoided the discussions (because of my un-conventional thinking). but soon it became un-resistible and I was deep in the discussion. I was thinking about this and here I am sharing my thoughts.

Some of the most dreadful sins as declared by society – “Murder”, “Adultery”, “Stealing”. Well this is what a society feels are sins and hence wrongs of the world. I see these a little differently. For me what I feel at heart if right is right. Society has its own way of seeing things and I can not change that, but that does not mean that I will change myself the way society wants us to be. Why do we always want to be what others want us to be.

Coming back to the Right vs Wrong – for me the person who does something “wrong” may not feel that it is wrong in any way. A thief, steals why? To earn some money and feed his children. Just saying that he is wrong is not the right thing. Do we spend any time in understanding why is that thief a thief? We take that person to trial and punish if the charge is proved in court of law. Do we even try to see what circumstances forced the person to steal. What we have done is put away a criminal for some time and made him a criminal for life. If we would try to listen his/her problems we may have rehabilitated him/her. No, but society says he is wrong when it may have been someone who forced a thief to steal is the wrong here.

Sandhya also brought up the biggest sin – Murder. I was on the same opinion if I feel what I am doing is right, then even Murder is right. I should not feel remorse about it. Sandhya said “How can someone play God?” I think she is right in a way, but let us explore what is being God and then we will come back to Sandhya’s point. Sometime back I saw the movie “Provoked”; based on a real-life story. The story was about a wife who is being physically and mentally harassed by her husband and one day she breaks down and burns her husband alive. She was taken to court of law and sentenced to lifetime imprisonment. What do we get here: Was the wife wrong as she burnt her husband alive or was the husband wrong who was harassing his wife?

I am split here on how the husband was behaving – What was shown in the movie. It showed all the bad things he would do to his wife, but I could not find a cause. I am tempted to believe that he was wrong as there was no reason for him to do this. As for wife she has all the right reasons to punish him and she did. Was she right? I would say yes – but then is this being playing God? Well yes, it is. But for the right reason for her. The authorities still feel that she was wrong and that’s the reason she was put behind bars.

Being right or wrong is not a function of how the society defines. The rules have been laid out there to keep a larger part of the society under control and it works very well. But, how a person behaves is based on various circumstances and not knowing all you can not hold someone for the wrong. The wrong for which you would hold someone may be your wrong and not their.

Faith

These set of thoughts triggered from

  • A thread on Facebook between Preeti and I. Preeti wrote “I hope God listens to my prayers as well…”
  • A discussion with a fellow blogger

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust

I will start by providing an analogy of a relationship between a parent and a child. A game that I have played with Aabhya for first couple of years since her birth is where I used to throw her up in the air and catch her mid-air or when I asked her to stand/sit on a desk and ask her to jump where I would catch her. She used to laugh when I used to do that.

As she turned 2.5/3 years when I try doing that, she starts saying no; almost instantly and says “Papa mujhe darr lag raha hai (Dad, I am getting scared)”. I just can’t get her to play this game with me any more. She realizes that falling down will hurt her and an injury will bring pain with itself.

Any reasons why her behavior changed. When she was young, she didn’t understand certain things like pain, injury and that there is a risk in the game that she can fall. She was innocent and trusted me with everything. But, as she grew up and became knowledgeable, her mind tells her about the risk and adds fear to her heart and mind. She somehow still knows that I don’t want to hurt her but the Faith of letting herself go is gone. She now believes in me; where as she had Faith in me earlier. She has started to question my ways.

I relate this analogy  to a person and God. When a person is just a child, he has parents to shield them of problems and tough times. There are many, but parents will not allow most of them to pass on to the child. A child would think “All izz well” (from 3 Idiots), but there are matters he will not know are wrong. Then the person grows in an adult and life becomes more challenging – we got to get a good job, earn lots of money to support our family; find a girl-friend; then find a life partner and always try to keep things working. And, during this time; not everything happens as we expected and we start questioning ways of God. People forget the time when things went right for them – that is what life is – you win some; you loose some.

So what is Faith?

To me Faith is about “Believing is Seeing”. Kids do not have to see Santa to believe in him. But we adults would say – come one that is just a story. I feel there is some magic out there which is greater than everything something that no one can explain. No one ever sees God. Every religion talks about Avatars as incarnations of God to come and help God; but there has to be a higher power that runs this world. Why I say “Believing is Seeing” because this is the basic essence of Life. I say so because

Science is about inventions and now they all are facts. But, someone did invented it (electricity, telephone) did not have facts that this exists. They believed. They did not see it. For that one person who invested it – “Believing is Seeing”. Others who saw it it was fact.

And also, because of one instance that I gathered many years ago which can be found on another link on my blog – read this article where it is claimed that Albert Einstein challenged an atheist professor on “Existence of Evil“.

Every day of my life when I take up a task, I believe in myself that I can do it even before I have taken it up. I do not say this once I have done it. Look at prominent figures who have achieved a lot – they all say “I had belief in myself that I can do it”. They had not seen them achieve the heights of glory; they believed. They had Faith.

I will wrap this post with a continuation of the analogy earlier. I seek Faith from my daughter. Many a times I say No to her because it is not good for her and I will continue to do this for the rest of her life and mine. Similarly, my parents have been doing this to me all my life. There are so many “NO”s that we have to deal with. A parent seeks Faith from their child but does not understands that this is exactly what God seeks from us. God always answers your prayers – the answer sometimes is no.

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust”. Is this just coincidence or is there is a higher magic why the words have been put this way.

Life is about Choices and Balance

He was lying in his bed and thinking what went wrong over the years. He had a good job that provided for his family; he had a a loving family and they all met often, had enjoyed their time together. Somehow, over the years fate had taken a u-turn and for the first time he was facing problems providing so well for his family. Only today He had to ask his wife not to bring any more desserts after dinner and he saw tears coming through her eyes. A sudden realization filled his eyes with tears and his heart with remorse.

He lived in a small town with his family and he was living a very fulfilling life. His job was at the Cricket stadium where he officiated as the umpire in matches between his and a neighboring town. All was well until the day his son decided to join the rival team. Over a period of time, he started to cheat to help his son; not giving those LBW decisions. And, because there was no technology available then he was able to get away with it. What he did not realize that, this was not going to help anyone in the long run. What really happened slowly was that the other team started to loose the edge that they had and the matches started to become more one sided. Talented plays did not want to join the loosing team and the team grew weak every season. And because the matches were so one sided, people did not want to come and watch these games. The towns started to loose their revenues, the number of matches reduced and eventually his own income was also reduced. It also started to hurt his son because now he was not playing any quality bowlers and his game started to become weak and he lost his deft touch.

But the damage was now done, but he was determined to fix it. However, to bring the balance back to both towns it took him many years. He had to be careful not to be biased towards either of the town.

I see my life through the eyes of the umpire. The two teams being – my personal life and my careers. I have got to be careful that I do not cheat for either of the side and risk the mistake of ruining both. I just pray I have not messed it up already.

Search for Peace

We (Mom, Dad, Preeti and I) are sitting on the dining table having our dinner when my Dad asked me if I want to  go along with him to the Golden Temple (Holy Place in Amritsar). I said no, because I had to work on weekends. And then started another debate between my parents and me.

For a long time, I have had a strange relationship with my God. Over time, I have found him looking over my shoulder and taking care of myself. There have been times, when I was in trouble and I have reached out to him in pain and he has responded back every time. Not always has the answer been what I have wanted it to be, but always I was relieved of my pain and I am so thankful to Him for that. I have not found myself standing on doors of a holy place to speak to Him. I just try to find that place in my Heart.

A few days back, a friend of mine showed me a picture of his and a quote which goes as follows

Worship today like you wont worship again,
Think about it like this is the last thought,
If you have that desire, the zeal – nothing can stop you from achieving it!!!
Go for it my dear friend
Go for it!!!

#Note To Self – Its always about both the things – Prayers and Your Efforts

In this quote, I understand the points about efforts and desire to get something so that nothing should come in your way. However, I do not understand the point of ‘Worship’ and ‘Prayers’. And to me it is conflicting ones’ own Faith in God. If you believe in His presence, have Faith in his doing towards you, do you really have to Pray to Him and ask him that for you. Why would you not have Trust and Faith in Him to give you what is best for you.

The question I want to ask is “why do we pray?”

Not that I do not pray, but I pray to God to lead me to things that are best for me and others around me. I stopped praying for specific desires a long time ago. I have Faith, that I will find Peace one day