The Night

The great thing about night is that everything around is dark. You can hardly see your hand let alone who is walking right next to you. Try this with a cloudy sky and you will know what I mean. It reminds us how lucky we are to have light.

One of these night, I managed to scare myself, and I had to use my instincts more than ever. If you know me and my driving, you may have figured out by now what I mean – when I say I use my instincts – Gunning down the NH8 at 180 KMPH in my Verna beats all kinds of thrills.

Will do it ever again – maybe not. It was just one of these days. I guess I did a little too much to scare myself.
P.S.: No telling my dad or preeti.
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I would die for…

Inspired from Cheeni Kum starring Amitabh Bachan (Buddha) and Tabbu (Neena). Movie was about an old man who falls in love with a woman who is 30 years younger to him. The woman also loves him and they decide to marry each other. Neena’s father is against the marriage. Buddha, is trying to make him understand the fact. Buddha, has a neighbor, a 5-year old girl is suffering from cancer and is destined to die soon. The last scene of the movie is a setting in Delhi’s Qutab Minar. Buddha, goes to Qutab and wishes for Neena and his wish comes true. 5 minutes later he receives a call which tells him that his neighbor has died just 5 minutes earlier. He now wants to go back and wants to wish for the life of the little neighbor, but he can not.

I saw the scene and I instantly, realized something. For me, people live their lives “not to die”. Is life that simple? Would I want to live my life-like this? No way. I want to live life and believe that we can not live life unless we live to die.

I would die for having my family with me. I would die for having my friends with me. I would die for all the good things that I have around me. Would you not?

Being Proud

I had an interesting conversation over a Facebook status; and I do not want to loose it in FaceBook status’; so here is an extract of it:

 

Relax, sit back, listen to your favorite music, feel proud of all the good you have done for this society, have respect for everyone around you, gift a chocolate to a homeless kid outside a temple, give a loaf of bread to a stray dog, lie down on grass and look at the sky and listen to chirping birds.. Believe me you will be happy from your soul, Life is simply too awesome.. Live it UP!!! 😉

 

Ashish Mukherjee I follow many things among these, i almost feed a stray dog everyday, i look up to the sky to relax, i listen to music, etc., but still struggling to find find out something to be proud of which I’ve done good for this society….. it’s a tough job I guess for me….. 😦

 

Kapil Viren Ahuja ‎@Ashish – I dont know you so wont judge; but I can say that all that you do is to be proud off. Because we run for big things; we miss out on smaller ones. Think – if we all would feed 1 time meal to someone say a couple of times a week; how many wont go without food.

 

Ashish Mukherjee

‎@KVA: Hi, mostly i read your posts on Shanu’s posts quiet on a lighter side, but it was great reading an appreciation for what i do, but those aren’t anything which anyone does to feel proud of or keeping in mind that we are doing anything… good, people just do these things when they are missing something probably (not sure), same the case with me, apart from it, when talking about the society, i am feeding the stray dogs, which aren’t giving any such great impact on the society, then….. so in my case, again, still need to struggle lil more to find out that factor, but in any case, thanks a lot, it was good that even these things can be appreciated…. 🙂
Kapil Viren Ahuja IMHO – the reason i feel we should be proud of it is because – there are 99.99% people out there who dont do anything. I am not going to debate the reasons or why.
Ashish Mukherjee ‎@KVA: Kya Kapil Mama, you just ended the topic, it was just great having few words with you… Thanks. 🙂

What I understand is that yeah feeding Stray-dogs is not enough; but what I do like is the fact that Ashish does something; this behavior one day will lead him to do bigger things; it reminds me of Small Steps.

Relationships

Let us first have a look at what a relation is? In dictionary it has been defined as “The way in which two concepts, objects or people are connected.” With this if we look at relationship it becomes a state of being connected. Now again the dictionary gives the example as:

  • the state of being connected by blood or marriage
  • the way in which two people behave towards each other
  • an emotional and sexual association between two people

When I read the definitions given above I start to think that dictionary is just a way to teach words and not meaning of those words. Would a relationship mean the way it has been defined above. Though, I see the sentences saying all (by way of emotional association), I believe that relationship have a deeper meaning of words. I will quote some of the great thinkers and then we will see the difference:

  • Health is the greatest gift, contentment is the wealth, faithfulness the best relationship
  • Relationships are like crystals, you do not realize how much you love it until it breaks
  • Death ends a life, not a relationship

Reading the last two, I think what was missing in the definitions that were put forward in the earlier post? I think emotions and the human touch to it. I believe that every time you meet someone you make a new relationship, but what it means to you it for you to decide. You can take a hello to a marriage or companionship and you can take a friendship to hatred. The reasons can be different, but what is important that we need to know how to honor each of our relationships. That can be enmity or love, but doing justice to that is an art not everyone has. People have various tendencies towards approaching every situation, but what it comes down to is the fact how one wants to live their life!!

People around many a times ask questions on why two people (a boy and a girl) are roaming around frequently. My answer is; that is what people do. This bring me to thinking, why can not people see a relationship just like any other thing… why does it always have to boil down to this between opposite sex. Why? I dont think anyone on this earth would have an answer and I will not try to answer this one; actually I am not in a position to answer this as I do not think that a relationship to be like this. But this leaves me surprised nevertheless.

I will take some examples of very divine relationships (or that is what people call them) – “Mother and a Child”, “Brother and a Sister”, “Husband and a Wife” and “Friends”. I will not spend time talking about the first 3, because those are the easy ones. Let us talk about “Friends” – does it mean a “Boy and a Boy” and/or “Girl and a Girl” or can it also mean “Boy and a Girl”. Well it seems the society around is still caught in the moment where they do not think that the last one even exists. Believe me friendship is the most emotional relationship that you can be in. All others relations that you have you have known each other for a very long time or you stay with the person. So, how difficult is it to keep the relationship sour? My wife says to me “How long can I remain upset with you; we share the same bedroom.” and she is damn right.

But, when it comes to “friends”, this is where a person’s ability to carry on and honor the relationship is tested. You will not meet friends for long time, and talk to them sometimes, but you will be able to talk to them just as you never were apart the next time you meet. Is it that not a sign of a more strong bond than anything? Why can two people of opposite sex not have this between them? Is it written somewhere? or is there something that I am missing.

Seems that I will continue to live in a world of my own and continue to find people, who believe in the same thing as I do. Or will I have to change myself one fine day.

Faith

These set of thoughts triggered from

  • A thread on Facebook between Preeti and I. Preeti wrote “I hope God listens to my prayers as well…”
  • A discussion with a fellow blogger

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust

I will start by providing an analogy of a relationship between a parent and a child. A game that I have played with Aabhya for first couple of years since her birth is where I used to throw her up in the air and catch her mid-air or when I asked her to stand/sit on a desk and ask her to jump where I would catch her. She used to laugh when I used to do that.

As she turned 2.5/3 years when I try doing that, she starts saying no; almost instantly and says “Papa mujhe darr lag raha hai (Dad, I am getting scared)”. I just can’t get her to play this game with me any more. She realizes that falling down will hurt her and an injury will bring pain with itself.

Any reasons why her behavior changed. When she was young, she didn’t understand certain things like pain, injury and that there is a risk in the game that she can fall. She was innocent and trusted me with everything. But, as she grew up and became knowledgeable, her mind tells her about the risk and adds fear to her heart and mind. She somehow still knows that I don’t want to hurt her but the Faith of letting herself go is gone. She now believes in me; where as she had Faith in me earlier. She has started to question my ways.

I relate this analogy  to a person and God. When a person is just a child, he has parents to shield them of problems and tough times. There are many, but parents will not allow most of them to pass on to the child. A child would think “All izz well” (from 3 Idiots), but there are matters he will not know are wrong. Then the person grows in an adult and life becomes more challenging – we got to get a good job, earn lots of money to support our family; find a girl-friend; then find a life partner and always try to keep things working. And, during this time; not everything happens as we expected and we start questioning ways of God. People forget the time when things went right for them – that is what life is – you win some; you loose some.

So what is Faith?

To me Faith is about “Believing is Seeing”. Kids do not have to see Santa to believe in him. But we adults would say – come one that is just a story. I feel there is some magic out there which is greater than everything something that no one can explain. No one ever sees God. Every religion talks about Avatars as incarnations of God to come and help God; but there has to be a higher power that runs this world. Why I say “Believing is Seeing” because this is the basic essence of Life. I say so because

Science is about inventions and now they all are facts. But, someone did invented it (electricity, telephone) did not have facts that this exists. They believed. They did not see it. For that one person who invested it – “Believing is Seeing”. Others who saw it it was fact.

And also, because of one instance that I gathered many years ago which can be found on another link on my blog – read this article where it is claimed that Albert Einstein challenged an atheist professor on “Existence of Evil“.

Every day of my life when I take up a task, I believe in myself that I can do it even before I have taken it up. I do not say this once I have done it. Look at prominent figures who have achieved a lot – they all say “I had belief in myself that I can do it”. They had not seen them achieve the heights of glory; they believed. They had Faith.

I will wrap this post with a continuation of the analogy earlier. I seek Faith from my daughter. Many a times I say No to her because it is not good for her and I will continue to do this for the rest of her life and mine. Similarly, my parents have been doing this to me all my life. There are so many “NO”s that we have to deal with. A parent seeks Faith from their child but does not understands that this is exactly what God seeks from us. God always answers your prayers – the answer sometimes is no.

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust”. Is this just coincidence or is there is a higher magic why the words have been put this way.

Need a break

I am wrapping up the day and i am not feeling good at all. I have my bad days and good days. Yet once more the stint for the bad/stressful days have over-lasted itself and is taking its toll on me. I just want to take a break from everything around me.

About the day today, nothing very good happened, and I do not have any that makes me cheerful towards the end of the day. I will be sleeping soon, but what is going in my head – I do not know. I am tired of my life it seems and i need a break; when will i get it i do not know.

Face of Education System in Delhi

I just wrapped up the admissions for my daughter who still has to turn 3 for the pre-nursery class. The process was not a smooth one but by Grace of God, I was lucky to find a seat for my daughter. In retrospect, when I think of all that had happened in last 35 days and also when I read the plight of the parents who were unable to secure a seat for their beloved ones in the first list, I have following to share.

 

The problem

  1. Schools are not distributed appropriately in Delhi. To top this up, only a few schools enjoy a great reputation that has been built up by Media for publicity reasons.
  2. The population of children who seek admission are all over the city and some find themselves in areas that do not come close to any school. While those who live close by do not have live close to those so-thought of reputed schools
  3. The education ministry is not thinking of solving the problem in any way. They are trying out options that seem to have no thinking behind the process. It almost seems that planning is missing completely from the process

 

Symptoms

Every problem has certain symptoms. This entire process is so flawed that I can write the symptoms of the issues like an Epic. But I am going to list only a few.  No aanalysis has been done to find out, how the schools are spread out across the city and find ways to increase the penetration in those areas which do not have coverage by schools. Yet, there has been emphasis on neighborhood and choice of people to place their children in schools close to their homes.

There is no way to govern the admission process. Schools on the first instance throw the RTE out of the window. Many schools do not even release the points that all the students scored and are not willing to answer any queries of any of the parents.

The process is manual. When we find universities taking a step to common admission form way back in 1990s, the school admissions still is a process that needs parents to go from school to school. It is unclear why can not they learn from the university admissions and incorporate some of the good things from there.

In a country where we have been preaching about equality, the process where we start the education of the people of the nation is jarred with discrimination and that too so many – boy/girl child; single parents; siblings; alumni. The message we are sending to the future citizens of the nation is that you need to have privileges of some kind.

The privilege part which is based on the point systems, also introduces a feeling of guilt within the parents. Some of the great aspects of the Indian culture suddenly look like evils – happily married is not preferred; boy child is on an dis-advantage and a few more.

The process is completely skewed by the fact that shelling out some additional money will give you certificates of facts that do not exist and schools do not have the workforce to validate them.

 

Outcome

It will be simple – some will secure a seat and others will not. Those who will secure a seat will do so by either some luck or if they have some resources that others cant afford. But, the main point to note is that the process, the point system that was put in place is a total loss. If admissions are to happen on luck, lets not complicate the process. Lets simple have a draw of lottery. And now it hits me – Mr. Lovely had suggested that but it was opposed by everyone. Now I am thinking, maybe that is how it should have been – luck is what gave admissions to children even with the point system.

Is there a solution – well I do not have one right now. I do not have the resources of the information to do so. But, I hope that DoE wakes up and does something about it. I am sad to see how we start the education of the children of this nation.