Dance with the Devil

Keep in mind if you have to dance with the devil, you don’t have to bring him home or allow him to rub off on you. Many times you have to work with people you don’t like or trust, but they are part of the group that you must deal with to accomplish your goal. You don’t have to be like them, only understand how to interact with them to get what you want. You leave them at the workplace or wherever you have to deal with them.

A little trick that people have said works is: put your office problems in an imaginary box outside the office when you leave office and pick them up when you are arriving into office. Do the same with the home issues as well.

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Journey to “One Destination”

Life is a journey and there is one destination that everyone reaches. But, this journey is divided into various destinations and to reach each destination, we have to complete the journey. Along the way we re presented with many difficulties, which will make us change our course, or even make us quit.

The focus should be on the journey and not on the difficulties. Focusing on goals acts as a motivator to solve the difficulties with a new zeal. If we lose the focus on the goal, then very soon we would be asking ourselves “Why are we doing this?” and soon we will quit.

So remember, once you have your eyes set on goals, do not lose that eye-contact. On your way, be worried, be stressed, try as hard as you can, but never loose focus.

Leaders or just Managers?

Recalling an incident from 2007, it reminds me of the ideology of being “emotional for your work and company”. The phrase comes to mind – “Married to the company”.

In the past I have tried to be very emotional around my work, but a couple of discussions back in 2008 with a Senior Project Manager and a Director made me realize a few things. And now when I contemplate those things back and see similar things happening elsewhere too.

My assessment back then was that being emotional towards work and company (someone else) will only hurt me in the end. In the past I had worked almost twice the tenure with my company. For the 4 years I spent, my time spent working clocked to almost 8 years. No doubts that I was learning a lot, but the mistakes I did was that I was emotional about my work. I used to put that in front of everything else in my life. The rewards were good too – money, position etc. Until the day my project started to do South. A meeting that I had with a Senior Project Manager (Manish) around my future role on the project made me realize that he was going to sacrifice a human interest for the betterment of the project. He is a very successful manager in the organization and is very talented too.

A year later in 2008, another meeting made me realize that the company will choose to pay new hires more than what I am getting because I enjoy the Goodwill in the organization. I was not fully sure how to respond back then. But, I realize now that this is how every company operates. What I fail to understand is how that works out. A company/manager chooses to pay less to an existing employee who has done well for them and has generated results in the past; someone who knows the domain and the company. How can a manager/company let go of that person and go about finding a replacement only to give that new person a higher compensation and in the process spend a lot more on training and opportunity.

Maybe, this is a trait of a successful manager, I do not believe that this is a trait for a good leader. I have not done any MBA, but all these people who are running companies around me are MBAs from IIMs and other premier institutes. I do not understand the rationale behind it.

Relationship between Expectations and Relationships

This is going to a controversial topic and I myself is not too sure in my head where this ends up. But something happened today that made me think about this. The bottom line question is:

What happens to a Relationship if you stop Expecting?

Does the relationship ends? When I think of a relationship between a parent and a child; a parent will definitely have some expectations from their children. But, if the child does not fulfill those expectations, the relation still continues to remain. The affection does not die.

In other scenario, when we are with friends or colleagues and we have certain expectations that do not come true; we tend to move away from that relationship and eventually it either dies or converts to a casual “hello”; which eventually ends. I believe the very first signs of the death appear when one stop talking or gets angry.

 

So, what happens in the first case? Is the love or the bond so strong that it can never end no matter what. Or the bond has grown so strong that it takes a blunder to destroy it?

Information can be a Roadblock

The tendency to keep referencing the past is the biggest roadblock that any one hit. We can choose to use the information that we have. We can look at the past experiences to see what we did good and what could we have done better next time. We should not let those past experiences stop you.

Accept the fact that what has happened in the past is simply for information purposes.

My Life ~ How I drive

I have been driving now for over 15 years and I have been known to drive at break-neck speeds. Also, my driving style has been quoted by many as “rash”. But, since I bought my new Car in 2009, I have changed my driving style completely. Also, being in US, I have been more patient on roads and drive under the given speed limits; very careful over bumps and bad roads. I was timing myself and noticed that it now takes me 50 minutes to reach office where it used to take me 30 minutes earlier. While I loose time driving, I have started to enjoy my driving. I use this time to do lot of thinking. Many of my blog entries are conceived as I am driving down to office. 

Retrospecting on my life today, I realized that my driving is a reflection of my life. I was in the fast lane always, wanted to do everything the same day, wanted to to everything – simply rushing past my life. But, for last few months, I have changed quite a bit. I do not push as hard as I used to earlier, I do not rush into things as I used to earlier, most importantly I am thinking a lot more than I used to. And, I realize how important all this was.

Assuming that this co-relation is a true, two things that I would like to relate to my life:
1. Car fuel efficiency increases by 25% with this new driving style. I have noticed that because I have started to take things at a slower pace, I have been able to retain small tasks lot more that I have been in the past. I do not completely forget the lesser things in life and;
2. I still at times compete with others on the road and it is then when I go back to being the original Kapil thus proving myself that I have not lost my ability

 

Staring at the Sun

Sometimes to stare at the sun you need a pair of Sunglasses. Remember that there is nothing that you add in your capability when you wear sunglasses, you just take a little assistance. But, people also use sunglasses to keep off bright light.

Friends are just like Sunglasses, who you have with you always. They will keep helping you in keeping the difficulties of life out all the time, and also be there when you need them the most to look into the eyes of life and fight it out.

If a pair of sunglasses get damaged, we always go and replace them, remember that you will not be able to replace a Friend. Cherish them always!!