My family has been telling me for years now that I have the Anger of my father and fore-fathers. Yet, until recently I never thought of doing something about it. I did not see it a as something that needs to be fixed – I just had it and it was a trait of my…
Teri is duniya me ye manjar kyun hai? (Why is Your World like this?) Kahin zakhm to kahin peeth me khanzar kyun hai? (Someplace there is pain and people are backstabbing others) Suna hai ki tu har zarre me hai rahta, (We hear You are everywhere) To fir zami par kahi Maszid Kahi Mandir kyun…
It was "right" to dismiss Ian Bell; he was silly to take the run; but it was also "right" to recall because of the confusion. When I think about it; it seems like a choice I have been asked to make so many times - "The Practical thing" vs. "The Right thing". India decided to recall was the right thing to do; although it was not as per rules. They could have decided to let go of Bell and play on and nothing would have been wrong about it as per the rules of the game, but it would have be such a sad thing to do. All those people who in India, who are currently critisizing Dhoni for this; are not thinking if there was a role reversal and it was Sachin Tendulkar instead of Ian Bell. In most cases, knowing England they would not have recalled him; just think how we would have felt about it. We would have been all over the English side and critisizing them for this "right foresaken" thing. But, now when we have chosen to do the right thing - why are we upset. We should be happy that we have a team who thinks on moral ground and while they play to win, they also understand the importance of fair play.
“Do we have to lower our expectations to be happy?”. “Do we need to let go our aspirations to be happy?”.
I do not say that. All, I say is that you need to know what expectations you have from your life and how you are going to keep up the balance. The more you live your life in the 4th Quadrant, the more dissatisfied you will be in your life. I do not want to infer or plan to let go of all of my goals in life and the good things I want for my family. However, over time, I have started to realize and categorize in which areas do I need to have my expectations run high. And, in which areas do I have to start with a lower set of expectations and hence do not set myself up for a disappointment.
"Do we have to lower our expectations to be happy?". "Do we need to let go our aspirations to be happy?".
I do not say that. All, I say is that you need to know what expectations you have from your life and how you are going to maintain the balance. The more you live your life in the 4th Quadrant, the more dissatisfied you will be in your life. I do not want to infer or plan to let go of all of my goals in life and the good things I want for my family. However, over a period of time, I have started to realize and categorize in which areas do I need to have my expectations run high. And, in which areas do I have to start off with a lower set of expectations and hence do not set myself up for a disappointment.
God, maintains a balance scorecard for us. It all starts with a ZERO (0) at some point in time. As we live our life, we are provided with choices - some of those choices are right and other are wrong (how is another topic I will cover later; lets assume to be right an wrong for this conversation). We have to decide what we would do in such a scenario. Based on our decisions, we are awarded points or points are taken away from us. Now, when we go t God and pray for something, or want something in our life, God sees what is our Scorecard and gives is what we deserve. We either get what we asked for or we don't or we get something in between; but all that is based on what our scorecard is at that time. Once we have been awarded, our scores neutralizes back - it is like earning "Game Points" and spending those in the game for powers to do bigger things.
why does responsibility changes with the cost of the object. Thinking more deeply into the subject, I realize that it is not just the cost of the object - it is linked to the value of object for the owner. However, many a times we assume the value of the object based on how we value objects in our life. How many times have you considered an anniversary card that you received as just a card and misplaces it and not thinking that it valued so much to the person who gifted you; more so misplaced a present/card that someone else received because you dont value care of the ones you receive. Do we care enough to ask the person if it is okay to let the thing be ask them of their opinion of the object and its value (not monitory, but importance) for them and then decide how we should make amends if anything should happen to it.
I want to carry on with my life believing that God is going keep a watch over me as He has done in the past and He is going to do the same for my family too. I will just go about doing my stuff and try to do the right thing. I will try to choose my purpose and make people around me happy. Rest I will leave to God. He has brought us to existence and He will do what is best for us. Death is just another way of tempting me to let go of my Faith, but I will not. I will not stop doing what I am should do (Karma), and I will do it using my best judgement. God will judge me for my actions.
I have had doubts if this I should share this thought and what is the right way to share these thoughts with my parents, siblings, wife and children. So, after thinking for a long time, I am going to publish this post, because this is the easiest way for them to know what I believe in and what I have gone through for last 2 years. This is the best way for me to pass on my Faith to them especially in times when God is testing us. I just want everyone to know that I don't think of death all the time, and I want to be around to fulfill my purpose of a son, a brother, a husband and a father. But, based upon my actions God will decide when I have served my purpose. And to let you know, as I end this post, I feel much lighter that I was a while ago. I know now, that I need to fix a few things in my life and do it while I have the time.
This is not the first time that things have happened around me that I can not explain. While I have a strong belief in the fact that the choices we make are the basis of what happens with us; there are several times where I just can't explain why it happend. I am still trying to understand the events and decipher the reasons behind all of it. I will not be able to decipher any of that until next few days till the time I reach home safely and I am with my family or till the time I get my bags. The question arises at the point when all of it has happened as it was supposed to happen - "Why did it all happened in a different manner if the end result was the same?". Unless, something changes during next 36-40 hours.
I just dont know how to think on this. I just am blank on this. I just feel - that things happen for a reason and that too a good one. Few more hours to find the reason behind all this and realize what was good in that.
How we feel is something that we cant control - or at least not at the very beginning. We may be able to over a period of time to control our emotions, but when something happens at that point how you feel tells you who you are what the other person means to you. Friendship is one such thing.
So, now when I hear about a "friend", and my first emotion is not to be happy for them, I know it is not friendship. I just know - I don't understand why I was not remembered; how come I am not remembered every time. I know it is time to let go. I know we are not friends any more, we are just "ex-colleagues".