Great Conflicts – Bizarre Prodigy

For One Self

You can either live loved and die with about 400 people besides you but knowing you did not do stuff for yourself or you can live for yourself and maybe die alone and hated.I am fast moving towards the later and I do not know yet if that is a good place to be. But, I know end of the day these are my choices and I wont have anyone else to blame when I am on the death bed. I will at least be saying to myself I lived my life on my terms rather than cursing 100s of people of making my life something I do not want it to be.

Does that makes me a bad person?

Unexpectd lie

I do not know, if what I did was wrong or right. It seemed right for my family. I am not sure, if it can be right for someone, if it started as being wrong.

I got ready with bags packed and everything. Dad and Preeti (my wife) accompanied me to the airport. I left my daughter home crying because she wanted to accompany us to the airport. It was late in the night so no point bringing her along. She was 3 years back then and did not really understand that her Dad was going away for a longish period and she would only be able to talk on phone or a video chat.

I had left home in a state of flux and unrest, but this time it was more than what it was in July 2010. As I was driving to the Airport, everyone was silent and thinking something. I knew what I was thinking - "What can I do that this trip can be canceled?".

Support for Anna: A followup

The India Against Corruption movement was a much needed movement, because as Team Anna said for 62 years nothing has happened because the government does not want to fix it. Anan Hazare enters 10 day of his ANSHAN, and the youth of India rises with every minute that the parliament decided not to implement the bill.

On the flip side of this coin, this movement will create a legacy that this will be the way we are going to get justice from our Government. Will this movement bring another revolution in the youth of India who have been accepting the current nature of our government and culture to be a bare truth that can not be fixed.

Right vs. Right

It was "right" to dismiss Ian Bell; he was silly to take the run; but it was also "right" to recall because of the confusion. When I think about it; it seems like a choice I have been asked to make so many times - "The Practical thing" vs. "The Right thing". India decided to recall was the right thing to do; although it was not as per rules. They could have decided to let go of Bell and play on and nothing would have been wrong about it as per the rules of the game, but it would have be such a sad thing to do. All those people who in India, who are currently critisizing Dhoni for this; are not thinking if there was a role reversal and it was Sachin Tendulkar instead of Ian Bell. In most cases, knowing England they would not have recalled him; just think how we would have felt about it. We would have been all over the English side and critisizing them for this "right foresaken" thing. But, now when we have chosen to do the right thing - why are we upset. We should be happy that we have a team who thinks on moral ground and while they play to win, they also understand the importance of fair play.

Another decision

Today I have a meeting with my leadership team to understand and then decide what I am going to do next in my organization. The last year was all working on non-technology stuff for the most part. Last year, I was promised a technical role after I was done with my program management responsibilities, but…

Karma

God, maintains a balance scorecard for us. It all starts with a ZERO (0) at some point in time. As we live our life, we are provided with choices - some of those choices are right and other are wrong (how is another topic I will cover later; lets assume to be right an wrong for this conversation). We have to decide what we would do in such a scenario. Based on our decisions, we are awarded points or points are taken away from us. Now, when we go t God and pray for something, or want something in our life, God sees what is our Scorecard and gives is what we deserve. We either get what we asked for or we don't or we get something in between; but all that is based on what our scorecard is at that time. Once we have been awarded, our scores neutralizes back - it is like earning "Game Points" and spending those in the game for powers to do bigger things.

Death and Faith

I want to carry on with my life believing that God is going keep a watch over me as He has done in the past and He is going to do the same for my family too. I will just go about doing my stuff and try to do the right thing. I will try to choose my purpose and make people around me happy. Rest I will leave to God. He has brought us to existence and He will do what is best for us. Death is just another way of tempting me to let go of my Faith, but I will not. I will not stop doing what I am should do (Karma), and I will do it using my best judgement. God will judge me for my actions.

I have had doubts if this I should share this thought and what is the right way to share these thoughts with my parents, siblings, wife and children. So, after thinking for a long time, I am going to publish this post, because this is the easiest way for them to know what I believe in and what I have gone through for last 2 years. This is the best way for me to pass on my Faith to them especially in times when God is testing us. I just want everyone to know that I don't think of death all the time, and I want to be around to fulfill my purpose of a son, a brother, a husband and a father. But, based upon my actions God will decide when I have served my purpose. And to let you know, as I end this post, I feel much lighter that I was a while ago. I know now, that I need to fix a few things in my life and do it while I have the time.

It happens for a reason and that too a good one

This is not the first time that things have happened around me that I can not explain. While I have a strong belief in the fact that the choices we make are the basis of what happens with us; there are several times where I just can't explain why it happend. I am still trying to understand the events and decipher the reasons behind all of it. I will not be able to decipher any of that until next few days till the time I reach home safely and I am with my family or till the time I get my bags. The question arises at the point when all of it has happened as it was supposed to happen - "Why did it all happened in a different manner if the end result was the same?". Unless, something changes during next 36-40 hours.

I just dont know how to think on this. I just am blank on this. I just feel - that things happen for a reason and that too a good one. Few more hours to find the reason behind all this and realize what was good in that.

Faith isn’t an Argument

Faith isn't an Argument; I just know God exists and he is out there for me.

So, when people ask me to prove to them Who is God and Where is your God or why did God do something - I do not know how to answer. I just know it in my heart that He is out there somewhere watching me and providing me with opportunities to do good things. He is out there paving my path with temptations but trusts me to do the right thing.

Why can’t he just be a leader?

As I sit here and wait for the email to come, I can not reach out the person who has to approve the request. Only person I can reach out to is my manager and he is three levels down the person who has to approve. This makes me think - are they leaders? Why can I not reach out to anyone above my immediate manager? Why do we even have a hierarchy in place? Can we not do work in a horizontal leadership model? Why does pyramid has to exist?

Why can't he just be a leader?

Bizarre Prodigy

Category: Great Conflicts