I feel like shitting on someone today // I am that crapped out in my head. I sense a lot of negativity and that shit is pulling me in its dense fog which is making life tricky. I spent a lot of time catching up and a lot of pending stuff got done. I am kind of surprised that I have been able to work through all this mess in my head where in the past this has lead me to simply come to a stand still.
Now what remains is getting started with some new work done and I have several tasks lined up on my plate which are not on the front-burner today, but unless I get to those soon they will be. And, I need to get rid of the static charge in my head so that I can make progress.
A long time back I blogged about Expectations and Happiness. I quote from my earlier blog
An expectation is a mental prediction of what will happen in the future when we don’t know for sure. If what does actually happen matches or exceeds our expectation of it we experience positive emotions such as satisfaction, joy, surprise, or gratification. If, on the other hand, what occurs is different from what we expected or is less than what we expected, we experience negative emotions such as disappointment, anger, or frustration.
I know exactly what is not working out and it’s the inability of folks around me not making it work out is what is bugging me. I have not yet reached a point where action is warranted. I am still circumnavigating the mess that has been created due to some common sensical errors. As I speak to several folks (last of my discussions is planned for today), I am getting a feeling that “we” have given up on something that once was a passion we all shared together. I have been asking myself and several other people “are ‘we’ interested STILL” and I do hear people saying – “yes we are”; I hope we are.
The energies have been sucked out as nothing is working as it had been planned a year back. There are things that are happening which no one had thought about. There are entities which are getting injected into the process which should not have been, “we” are getting ejected from the process as if the body rejects an antibody.
I go back to my blog about Karma and I know it is “us” who will have to do something if we have to make this work. I cry out loud – “are others with me?”
I can’t let this this thought fester itself in my head like a parasite because it will keep eating my inside out.