Last few weeks, my kiddo has started a new tradition – playing “Ludo” before we go to bed. And, for last few weeks those 20 minutes has been the best time of the day that I spend – not thinking – just enjoying with my 2 princesses.
Things have not been how I wanted them to be for a long time, but last few weeks that has been changing and things are taking a favorable shape. Yet, I feel myself still being restless. When I am alone – driving or working or doing something alone, I just can not get my “tunnel focus” back. I am just unable to keep the distress signals out of picture and just focus on getting the things done that need doing. I have been spending a lot of energy in trying to keep myself on track (for doing whatever I have to do). For some reason, I don’t know why?
And, this brings me back to introspection and I am trying to relate my entire day, last few weeks to those 20 minutes I spend where I am totally focused and not worried about whats happening around me or with me. All I know that those 20 minutes make me happy like nothing else does and I need to find that love again in what I do. Also, that my family is with me during that time enjoying and supporting me makes a huge difference to me and I look forward to doing that.
It will not be wrong to summarize that both of the following statements are true for me:
My life’s moments are incomplete, they are not in the same vicinity as complete, if I can not share them with my family.
There are things I need to do; not for someone else but for myself. My urge to stay hungry is the reason I am alive.
I don’t have all the answers. I failed as much as I have succeeded. But, I have not failed enough just as I have not succeeded enough.