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On Sunday, during the 2nd test match between India and England something happened that has once again trigerred the debate of “what’s the right thing to do?”. It was the Ian Bell’s run out and India’s decision to take the appeal back allowing him to come out and bat again. The next day, India lost the test match in a very humiliating manner; however Ian Bell added only 20 more runs after being recalled and his recall had no influence on the result of the test match. Yet, the media has started to talk about it in all sense. Not just media; some people I know are also talking about if it was the right thing to do. If you read about the dismissal and watch it on YouTube, you will realize very soon that Ian Bell was out as per the rules and there was nothing wrong on part of Dhoni to make the appeal. It is a simple fact that umpires reviewed the same, and eventually ruled Ian Bell out. All of this happened within a day of another incident where VVS Laxman was accused of cheating by Andrew Strauss. An article in Times of India shows two sides of what people are feeling. One side said – “Why does India have to be on the good side always, when teams like Australia and England do all sorts of things in this Gentleman’s game”. The other side says – “We don’t want to follow or setup wrong examples. They can do what they want to; we will do the right thing”. In another article, they revelaed the influence Sachin had on this decision; goes to show the kind of leaders we have in our team how great this team is.
It was “right” to dismiss Ian Bell; he was silly to take the run; but it was also “right” to recall because of the confusion. When I think about it; it seems like a choice I have been asked to make so many times – “The Practical thing” vs. “The Right thing”. India decided to recall was the right thing to do; although it was not as per rules. They could have decided to let go of Bell and play on and nothing would have been wrong about it as per the rules of the game, but it would have be such a sad thing to do. All those people who in India, who are currently critisizing Dhoni for this; are not thinking if there was a role reversal and it was Sachin Tendulkar instead of Ian Bell. In most cases, knowing England they would not have recalled him; just think how we would have felt about it. We would have been all over the English side and critisizing them for this “right foresaken” thing. But, now when we have chosen to do the right thing – why are we upset. We should be happy that we have a team who thinks on moral ground and while they play to win, they also understand the importance of fair play.
People say, “You will get hit by a bus and you wont know what hit you. Live life as if there is no tomorrow.”
This is all crap. It is life. You will not get hit by a bus and in all probable cases you will live up to 70-80 years. You will have to live with the choices you make. Your decisions will come back to haunt you.
“Live life as if there is a tomorrow. As if, there are going to be many tomorrows.”
But still get a life insurance, just in case there is no tomorrow :)
I received this email today:
There are 2 railway tracks, one of which is has been shutdown. A group of children decide to play on the one which is operational and 1 kid chooses to play on the one which had been shutdown. You are standing next to a manned switch, when you see a Train coming by. The train is bound for the operational track. The train can not be stopped; and only you can change its course.
You have 2 choices:
- Let the train go and risk lives of the group of kids who chose to play on the operation track or;
- Switch the train to the non-operational track and risk the life of the that 1 kid
What will you do? Is that right? Who has the right to decide what is right?
Well, a few of my friends have said to me – Sacrifice that one kid in favor of the many more. When asked why? they say it sounds moral and emotional right.
Let me tell you what I will do? – I will not change the course of the train and let destiny play its part for the kids who are playing on the track on which the train is bound. Maybe they are aware that that track is operational and are aware; or maybe they are just being ignorant kids. Who knows why that track is not operational and I may be putting many more at risk by making that decision.
It will be a hard to be there at that moment and be caught up in that dilemma; but I feel that is the right thing to do. Who am I to change someone’s destiny? If I ever get the choice, I would want to be in a position where I can inform kids and anyone else about the risks like that. I prefer to provide my suggestions and then let people make their choices, rather than make choices for them.
As for me, as along as I have faith in my decisions, I am doing justice to myself. I do not have an obligation to make others understand the rationale behind my choices.
Two different schools of thoughts:
“It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. All that matters is what you think of you. We lose so much energy worrying about the opinions of others, wanting to be liked. Leadership and personal mastery is about rising above social approval – to self approval.”
“It is other people’s opinion and what they think of us is probably just a mirror for us. If people are the true mirrors, where is the harm in taking a peak every now and then, to see how flawless we have become, to see how good looking we have grown. Every morning we look for self-approval but we need a mirror to tell us that; and we do not ignore that. Similarly, should we disregard the other mirror of people for giving us this truth? There are times when it will give us an idea on how to correct our appearance so we can shine on (feedback) and there will be other times, when we know we are shining but we still need confirmation that we do indeed shine (recognitions).”
So long as you are living by your values, running your own race and living your dreams, who cares what anyone else thinks/says about you? It should always be about doing what’s right.
I always look into the mirror and do what I find is right for me.
This is a recollection of a discussion I had almost 3 years back. I was sitting over coffee with some of my team mates and Sandhya brought up this topic of what is wrong? For some time I avoided the discussions (because of my un-conventional thinking). but soon it became un-resistible and I was deep in the discussion. I was thinking about this and here I am sharing my thoughts.
Some of the most dreadful sins as declared by society – “Murder”, “Adultery”, “Stealing”. Well this is what a society feels are sins and hence wrongs of the world. I see these a little differently. For me what I feel at heart if right is right. Society has its own way of seeing things and I can not change that, but that does not mean that I will change myself the way society wants us to be. Why do we always want to be what others want us to be.
Coming back to the Right vs Wrong – for me the person who does something “wrong” may not feel that it is wrong in any way. A thief, steals why? To earn some money and feed his children. Just saying that he is wrong is not the right thing. Do we spend any time in understanding why is that thief a thief? We take that person to trial and punish if the charge is proved in court of law. Do we even try to see what circumstances forced the person to steal. What we have done is put away a criminal for some time and made him a criminal for life. If we would try to listen his/her problems we may have rehabilitated him/her. No, but society says he is wrong when it may have been someone who forced a thief to steal is the wrong here.
Sandhya also brought up the biggest sin – Murder. I was on the same opinion if I feel what I am doing is right, then even Murder is right. I should not feel remorse about it. Sandhya said “How can someone play God?” I think she is right in a way, but let us explore what is being God and then we will come back to Sandhya’s point. Sometime back I saw the movie “Provoked”; based on a real-life story. The story was about a wife who is being physically and mentally harassed by her husband and one day she breaks down and burns her husband alive. She was taken to court of law and sentenced to lifetime imprisonment. What do we get here: Was the wife wrong as she burnt her husband alive or was the husband wrong who was harassing his wife?
I am split here on how the husband was behaving – What was shown in the movie. It showed all the bad things he would do to his wife, but I could not find a cause. I am tempted to believe that he was wrong as there was no reason for him to do this. As for wife she has all the right reasons to punish him and she did. Was she right? I would say yes – but then is this being playing God? Well yes, it is. But for the right reason for her. The authorities still feel that she was wrong and that’s the reason she was put behind bars.
Being right or wrong is not a function of how the society defines. The rules have been laid out there to keep a larger part of the society under control and it works very well. But, how a person behaves is based on various circumstances and not knowing all you can not hold someone for the wrong. The wrong for which you would hold someone may be your wrong and not their.
Being the best has different has just one meaning for everyone – “Do it like no one else can do it”. But, the difference in opinion comes where people see things differently. Can be two things basically:
1. What people think is the best
2. What you think is the best
The big question if who is going to measure the success? Does Someone needs to? Is it so? I do not think so. I believe in one thing – “If you can be honest to yourself, you do not need to prove to the world what is right or wrong”. Many people spend their entire lifetime making others believe in what they think that people find it right, when the right is what they know they have.
Important thing is to realize the truth and be calm about it; God will then one day through His own ways prove you correct. Believe me, He will do that; it is just a matter of time when that happens. Do not loose faith in Him. Consider him to be your friend and hHe, while you do not know He already is. He is already is watching over you and protecting you against many ill-things, you just do not realize.
Realization…. this is something we will talk about some time later. For now I need to doze off.