The feeling of being stuck

I want to move on, but looks like I have placed myself in a position where I cant. I find myself stuck at a place where some of my personal priorities are taking a hit on what I have want. I find myself at a point in time when a passion suddenly does not excites me. I just dont want to go back to that place. And No it didnt happen overnight, the process took almost 3 years and now I have reached a place where it is no longer with me.

Now a very important part of my life kicks in and I need to answer a very important question: Was that a passion or just an addiction? the answer can change my life in ways that I cant think of today. I need to answer myself on what I need to do – balance out my personal priorities and let go of my ambitions passions or go back and find what I lost over a period of 3 years.

Both options have their fall outs and I need to see what is more important for me – ?? vs ??. Sadly, I dont know how to put these in words that describe what I am thinking and I do not wish to say those words and end up hurting loved ones.

I dont know who to turn up to for answers that are neutral; I dont know even if anyone can come up with a neutral answer. Every person has their experience and unique situation in their life and their answers are influenced by those situations. What I am feeling is unique in its own sense and I need to find answers in those situations only. I hope I can reach out to God and seek guidance.

Faith

These set of thoughts triggered from

  • A thread on Facebook between Preeti and I. Preeti wrote “I hope God listens to my prayers as well…”
  • A discussion with a fellow blogger

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust

I will start by providing an analogy of a relationship between a parent and a child. A game that I have played with Aabhya for first couple of years since her birth is where I used to throw her up in the air and catch her mid-air or when I asked her to stand/sit on a desk and ask her to jump where I would catch her. She used to laugh when I used to do that.

As she turned 2.5/3 years when I try doing that, she starts saying no; almost instantly and says “Papa mujhe darr lag raha hai (Dad, I am getting scared)”. I just can’t get her to play this game with me any more. She realizes that falling down will hurt her and an injury will bring pain with itself.

Any reasons why her behavior changed. When she was young, she didn’t understand certain things like pain, injury and that there is a risk in the game that she can fall. She was innocent and trusted me with everything. But, as she grew up and became knowledgeable, her mind tells her about the risk and adds fear to her heart and mind. She somehow still knows that I don’t want to hurt her but the Faith of letting herself go is gone. She now believes in me; where as she had Faith in me earlier. She has started to question my ways.

I relate this analogy  to a person and God. When a person is just a child, he has parents to shield them of problems and tough times. There are many, but parents will not allow most of them to pass on to the child. A child would think “All izz well” (from 3 Idiots), but there are matters he will not know are wrong. Then the person grows in an adult and life becomes more challenging – we got to get a good job, earn lots of money to support our family; find a girl-friend; then find a life partner and always try to keep things working. And, during this time; not everything happens as we expected and we start questioning ways of God. People forget the time when things went right for them – that is what life is – you win some; you loose some.

So what is Faith?

To me Faith is about “Believing is Seeing”. Kids do not have to see Santa to believe in him. But we adults would say – come one that is just a story. I feel there is some magic out there which is greater than everything something that no one can explain. No one ever sees God. Every religion talks about Avatars as incarnations of God to come and help God; but there has to be a higher power that runs this world. Why I say “Believing is Seeing” because this is the basic essence of Life. I say so because

Science is about inventions and now they all are facts. But, someone did invented it (electricity, telephone) did not have facts that this exists. They believed. They did not see it. For that one person who invested it – “Believing is Seeing”. Others who saw it it was fact.

And also, because of one instance that I gathered many years ago which can be found on another link on my blog – read this article where it is claimed that Albert Einstein challenged an atheist professor on “Existence of Evil“.

Every day of my life when I take up a task, I believe in myself that I can do it even before I have taken it up. I do not say this once I have done it. Look at prominent figures who have achieved a lot – they all say “I had belief in myself that I can do it”. They had not seen them achieve the heights of glory; they believed. They had Faith.

I will wrap this post with a continuation of the analogy earlier. I seek Faith from my daughter. Many a times I say No to her because it is not good for her and I will continue to do this for the rest of her life and mine. Similarly, my parents have been doing this to me all my life. There are so many “NO”s that we have to deal with. A parent seeks Faith from their child but does not understands that this is exactly what God seeks from us. God always answers your prayers – the answer sometimes is no.

Have you ever thought why we say – “We stopped believing” but say “We lost Trust”. Is this just coincidence or is there is a higher magic why the words have been put this way.

Why I Left (via somemusician)

I reblog this post because of the discussion that has happened via comments. You will see as you read the comments that I have a different opinion about this topic as the author.

However, somewhere when we talk about religion and how the it has been used today to preach God is where I will agree with. His words – “It was at this point, where I realized that what I had been spoon-fed for the past twenty years may actually have been an utter and profound lie.” – where a chord strikes on how I think about preaching of religion in its current form.

P.S.: I do not mean to disrespect anyone’s believes. This is just how I think.

To be sure, there are many reasons why I left Christianity. However, I was asked today what was the one thing that was the *ahem* nail in the coffin for me. When I was a Christian (has it really only been a few months?), I, like many others, partook in the daily ritual of morning devotions. One day, I stumbled across 1 Peter 3:15. Upon reading this, I realized that my belief was without rational justification and evidentiary support. “Well,” I th … Read More

via somemusician

Does evil Exist?

Does evil exist?

The university professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists?  A student bravely replied, "Yes, he did!"
"God created everything? The professor asked. 

"Yes sir", the student replied. 

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil". The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?" 

"Of course", replied the professor. 

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?" "What kind of question is this?  Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"  

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is?  You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"  

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it every day.  It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil." 

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The young man's name - Albert Einstein.

Got this from internet at http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp

Search for Peace

We (Mom, Dad, Preeti and I) are sitting on the dining table having our dinner when my Dad asked me if I want to  go along with him to the Golden Temple (Holy Place in Amritsar). I said no, because I had to work on weekends. And then started another debate between my parents and me.

For a long time, I have had a strange relationship with my God. Over time, I have found him looking over my shoulder and taking care of myself. There have been times, when I was in trouble and I have reached out to him in pain and he has responded back every time. Not always has the answer been what I have wanted it to be, but always I was relieved of my pain and I am so thankful to Him for that. I have not found myself standing on doors of a holy place to speak to Him. I just try to find that place in my Heart.

A few days back, a friend of mine showed me a picture of his and a quote which goes as follows

Worship today like you wont worship again,
Think about it like this is the last thought,
If you have that desire, the zeal – nothing can stop you from achieving it!!!
Go for it my dear friend
Go for it!!!

#Note To Self – Its always about both the things – Prayers and Your Efforts

In this quote, I understand the points about efforts and desire to get something so that nothing should come in your way. However, I do not understand the point of ‘Worship’ and ‘Prayers’. And to me it is conflicting ones’ own Faith in God. If you believe in His presence, have Faith in his doing towards you, do you really have to Pray to Him and ask him that for you. Why would you not have Trust and Faith in Him to give you what is best for you.

The question I want to ask is “why do we pray?”

Not that I do not pray, but I pray to God to lead me to things that are best for me and others around me. I stopped praying for specific desires a long time ago. I have Faith, that I will find Peace one day